Pickled onion mystery

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 28 Aug 2005, 19:55

One of our Portobello Online cub reporters claims that he found a large pickled onion at the entrance to Porty House on Saturday morning. So, who was the owner?

Latest odds:

Mrs Porty - 1000/1
Bruce - 7/2
Flearoy - joint evens favourite
Porty - joint evens favourite

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:04

I would need to know what state the onion was in before placing a bet. Was it untouched? Did it have sauce on it? Had it been nibbled or sooked? How big? Where EXACTLY was it?

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:13

It might even have belonged to a neighbour, for instance, Marya.

She could have lost the onion whilst staggering home with her supper and it just rolled along the Crescent?

This is a tricky one.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:15

Know your onions.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:22

ecm wrote:It might even have belonged to a neighbour, for instance, Marya

Or even, although I'd be VERY surprised if true, dccairns

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:33

Lothian and Borders Police have just released this photo reconstruction:

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:37

Someone has a chip on their shoulder.

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:38

As it was "pickled" then no doubt it belonged to Porty.

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:48

Poppy wrote:
ecm wrote:It might even have belonged to a neighbour, for instance, Marya

Or even, although I'd be VERY surprised if true, dccairns

Forensics has confirmed that the onion was not organically produced, which would seem to rule dc out.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 28 Aug 2005, 20:50

teddygirl wrote:As it was "pickled" then no doubt it belonged to Porty.

Poor Port(l)y - being accused of being unfanciable by Epykat [of all people] and now accused of being a drunk by TG!!

[:lol:

]

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 28 Aug 2005, 21:09

Its not ours, honest guv. The 3 most likely in the Porty clan were assembled in the kitchen having cheese and toast. Whilst the long shot was asleep,

However, there is a very similar chip arrangement in the little alley beside our shop, although its a hamburger supper. Is my family being stalked by a chip discarder?

Marya was in a different city on the night in question. Its not dc's style by a long shot so I am clueless. There was a hit and run (car not person) incident in the street on Saturday, that was perpetrated by a WBC resident but I don't believe the incidents are linked.

What's all this about Epykat saying I am unfanciable? Is the poor girl in denial again.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 28 Aug 2005, 21:12

What's all this about Epykat saying I am unfanciable? Is the poor girl in denial again.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much, myself!!!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 28 Aug 2005, 21:14

Poppy wrote:
What's all this about Epykat saying I am unfanciable? Is the poor girl in denial again.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much, myself!!!

She's never actually did or said anything and it was a very, very long time ago. But you know how you just know?

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 28 Aug 2005, 22:14

Did it escape from the St Andrews?????
Is the St Andrews still there!!!!

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 29 Aug 2005, 12:15

Porty wrote:Marya was in a different city on the night in question.

Well 'city' is probably stretching it a bit Porty. I was here;

I was revisiting my roots and spent some time at the local Feis Na Mara. I enjoyed listening to John Martyn, with a glass of wine in my hand while my son took part in the kids' craft workshop at the back of the tent. Ah, isn't being cultured great ?

Can you guess who this is meant to be?

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 29 Aug 2005, 13:13

That's fantastic! Can he do one of Lily for us?

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 29 Aug 2005, 13:39

Marya wrote:Can you guess who this is meant to be?

It appears to be missing one foot.

Is it John Martyn?

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 29 Aug 2005, 13:48

Bellybabe wrote:That's fantastic! Can he do one of Lily for us?

His first commission! I'm so proud

I can see it now .........'Portobello Plasticine Pets' go global

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 29 Aug 2005, 13:51

ecm wrote:

It appears to be missing one foot.

Is it John Martyn?

I know I shouldn't be laughing at that but I can't help it!

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 29 Aug 2005, 15:43

ecm wrote:

It appears to be missing one foot.

Is it John Martyn?

ecm I'm constantly impressed by your knowledge of pop trivia

(a burst cyst apparently

)

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 29 Aug 2005, 16:23

I was looking at similar style doggy sculptures in a gallery in Morningside on Saturday and they were selling for over Â£400 each.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 29 Aug 2005, 16:26

teddygirl wrote:I was looking at similar style doggy sculptures in a gallery in Morningside on Saturday and they were selling for over Â£400 each.

Should one assume that you mean doggy as opposed to catty TG

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 29 Aug 2005, 17:56

Sorry Foxy, I should have said canine (of the terrier variety)

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 29 Aug 2005, 20:39

If they have pickled onions for eyes then that will get us back on thread!

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 29 Aug 2005, 22:12

or maybe the cat's called " Pickles" and it's eaten pickled onions!!!

And that is why there's some dollops on the table just below it's rear end!!!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 29 Aug 2005, 22:23

Porty wrote:
Poppy wrote:
What's all this about Epykat saying I am unfanciable? Is the poor girl in denial again.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much, myself!!!
She's never actually did or said anything and it was a very, very long time ago. But you know how you just know?

What ARE you two on??????

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 30 Aug 2005, 18:28

Epykat wrote:
Porty wrote:
Poppy wrote: Methinks the lady doth protest too much, myself!!!
She's never actually did or said anything and it was a very, very long time ago. But you know how you just know?
What ARE you two on??????

Sodium pentothal??

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 30 Aug 2005, 18:56

Poppy wrote:
Epykat wrote:
Porty wrote: She's never actually did or said anything and it was a very, very long time ago. But you know how you just know?
What ARE you two on??????
Sodium pentothal??

Is that true?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 31 Aug 2005, 19:40

Whatever, it's definitely some memory altering potion - especially in Portly's case......