if Christ came to Portobello

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 01 Sep 2005, 14:26

It's 2005. Jesus comes back and finds himself at the row of shops between Marlborough St and Regent St. Which one does He go into first?

(apologies in advance for mis-spelled shops, out of sequence shops, missed shops, or any other shop related errors)

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 14:51

Can't see him going into Woodwares too many symbols of his demise on display.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 01 Sep 2005, 15:11

It's obvious...he would pop into MPeople to visit his dad before going anywhere else

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 01 Sep 2005, 15:39

foxy wrote:It's obvious...he would pop into MPeople to visit his dad before going anywhere else

What?? Pal of Porty is god

(or maybe you mean Joseph ?depends if you are talking about his progenitor or the one who raised him!!!!)

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 01 Sep 2005, 16:26

I swithered actually, as I wondered if he would immediately convert to Islam, (seeing as Mohammed is God's last prophet) changing his name to Mohammed Bin Al Christ and buy a nice mat from Kistoffersens.

Or just go to Sesame, having not eaten for 2000 years, and that was just a quick bite with his mates.

Post by **wangi** » 01 Sep 2005, 16:46

Dadaist wrote:Or just go to Sesame, having not eaten for 2000 years

Exactly why I voted for...

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 01 Sep 2005, 19:04

Dadaist wrote:
Or just go to Sesame, having not eaten for 2000 years, and that was just a quick bite with his mates.

..at least he had a supper..and maybe a pickled onion?

or did that roll away

or was that a stone...come to think of it the Rolling Onions doesn't have the same ring to it....I know i'm rambling.. just leaving

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 01 Sep 2005, 19:18

foxy wrote:
Dadaist wrote:
Or just go to Sesame, having not eaten for 2000 years, and that was just a quick bite with his mates.
..at least he had a supper..and maybe a pickled onion? or did that roll away or was that a stone...come to think of it the Rolling Onions doesn't have the same ring to it....I know i'm rambling.. just leaving

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 01 Sep 2005, 19:42

He'd have to pass Allan's first to get some cream for those nasty scabs on his hands.........

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:04

Epykat wrote:He'd have to pass Allan's first to get some cream for those nasty scabs on his hands.........

Quality.

ali · Post by **ali** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:10

Of course he could always "cross" over to Carlo's and sample a kebab.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:12

If word got round that JC was coming to Porty PCATS would be up in arms due to the threat to local traders. How on earth would Joe Findlay and John Williamson survive when he was feeding everyone on 5 loaves and fishes?

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:14

Porty wrote:If word got round that JC was coming to Porty PCATS would be up in arms due to the threat to local traders. How on earth would Joe Findlay and John Williamson survive when he was feeding everyone on 5 loaves and fishes?

not to mention the local pubs with that water miracle he does

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:21

foxy wrote:
Porty wrote:If word got round that JC was coming to Porty PCATS would be up in arms due to the threat to local traders. How on earth would Joe Findlay and John Williamson survive when he was feeding everyone on 5 loaves and fishes?

not to mention the local pubs with that water miracle he does

Two rounds with dc and gemini and he would be begging for crucifiction.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:25

I have no idea why? This thread reminds me of the days when I used to buy and read the Morning Star. I guess I'm thinking how they would have reported the coming?

I am reminded of how the Star reported the marraige of Princess Anne and Captain Mark Philips. From memory it went something like this; two paragraphs on an inside page.

Traffic Chaos in London

Traffic in central london was chaotic yesterday due to the marriage of .....

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 20:35

Jesus might want to visit any one of the shops but I am not sure he would get in any of them - he would most likely be thrown out as a nutter!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 01 Sep 2005, 22:04

We could always have his life story as The Big Read for December.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 01 Sep 2005, 22:13

I can see it now: JC strolling along the high street with a calm look on his face.

Bob Jefferson is walking backwards in front of him to secure the all important snap fpr POL. He gets it and its a beauty. Runs home, scans it in (or whatever he does?) and there it is:

Caption: Maureen Child being followed by Jesus.

(Dada, consider this a commission)

Post by **wangi** » 01 Sep 2005, 22:16

Light entertainment

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 01 Sep 2005, 22:17

I'm looking forward to the walk to Fife once he's parted the sea.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 01 Sep 2005, 22:20

Porty wrote:I can see it now: JC strolling along the high street with a calm look on his face.

Bob Jefferson is walking backwards in front of him to secure the all important snap fpr POL. He gets it and its a beauty. Runs home, scans it in (or whatever he does?) and there it is:

Caption: Maureen Child being followed by Jesus.

(Dada, consider this a commission)

Easily my favourite post ever. I just laughed out loud so suddenly I gave myself a fright and almost fell off my seat.

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

if Christ came to Portobello

JC shopping spree, where go He?

if Christ came to Portobello