Lessons learned from Tigger Rules debacle?

Gedge · Post by **Gedge** » 13 Jan 2006, 14:51

Probably going back a bit on the message I posted on the subject yesterday.

As TR said "Can we leave it at that?" which is probably the best idea as far as that individual case is concerned but perhaps there are lessons to be learned. When someone tries to join a community whether it's a new street, workplace or forum and feels unwelcome or uncomfortable, it's easy to dismiss that person as a "fruitcake". Perhaps it is the individual's fault but it's not a bad thing to look at ourselves.

Were we as welcoming as we could be? Could the tone of some replies be misinterpreted? Does it feel a bit exclusive and cliquey from the outside however welcoming we are? If someone isn't used to the rough and tumble of forum life, might they be excused for taking things personally? I feel a bit bad that someone had made an effort to be a part of POL and now they're not going to. POL doesn't need the bad publicity of a local person feeling "this isn't for them" and it's there for all potential but hesitant contributors to see.

The Westminster Parliament has a tradition that new MPs make their maiden speech uninterrupted and unheckled. Perhaps we should think about that before we presume everyone knows what does and doesn't go. Although there was no malice involved or intended, not everyone is overbrimming with confidence and some people are more sensitive.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:02

Of course we were as welcoming as we could have been.

TR's first post was as hilarious as it was ridiculously hysterical. Members' reaction to it was understated and understanding.

If somebody nice comes along and is nice, you're nice back. If someone comes along and is boorish and crass, you're polite if you want.

Same as when you're in the pub.

Gizmo · Post by **Gizmo** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:13

As someone who is not a regular poster, but prefers to dip in and out of the forum, I might be well placed to give my opinion.

The forum does have a distinct element of cliquiness (sp?), it appears that the vast majority of regular posters have now met each other and know each other fairly well. I don't see this as a problem, and I don't feel the need to be a part of this. However, I can see that this may intimidate people from making the first post and becoming a part of the POL gang.

There are a lot of in-jokes and in-house fighting/arguing/debating. The latter I am not comfortable with. I have found a couple of people on this forum to use (what appears to me) at times a bullying, antagonistic approach and an unwillingness to accept others points of views. Posts like that I tend to avoid getting involved in as they tend to be a lose-lose situation. I think these kind of posts would put newbies off, in fact after one particular post I felt that this wasn't the forum I hoped it would be, and avoided it for a couple of weeks.

But it isn't all bad! I enjoy reading many of the posts, and reading about what is happening locally. Tigger rules complained about the lack of serious topics/conversation, however I feel that this is well covered in the portobello matters section. I feel that this general section provides the much needed fun factor as well as being (occasionally) informative.

All in all, a decent forum, with some decent people. I feel that you can be as involved as you want to be. This forum isn't for everyone, but I enjoy dipping in and out.

There. Thats my view, for all its worth

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:23

Gizmo wrote: All in all, a decent forum, with some decent people.

I'm unsure as to your emphasis here - you could read that comment a couple of ways.

Gizmo · Post by **Gizmo** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:25

hey, how come you changed your comment so quickly? you had put something about it being an indecent comment a minute ago (unless I was hallucinating)?????

Yup, people are free to interpret that comment however they wish

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:31

I too think that it is a shame that Tigger rules has decided to de-register Gedge and agree that we may seem rather cliquey. It can be difficult for example, to avoid 'in jokes' after months of Forum use with other regular posters. However, I would hope that in general we're a friendly bunch and welcoming when someone first posts with us; for instance, our 'Newbie' thread is there to encourage that 'maiden post'. Contrary to what many folk may think we don't all actually know each other off the web and we were all Newbies ourselves at some stage...and not all that long ago either!

Like the average family, we may squabble amongst ourselves, but are fiercely loyal when we are criticised by others. Unfortunately, I think that this is what happened recently. Angry criticism was made of the site and how it was run, which resulted in defensive posts. While I fully understand Tigger rules' anger, I still feel equally strongly that in this instance POL was being wrongly blamed.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:32

Gizmo wrote:hey, how come you changed your comment so quickly? you had put something about it being an indecent comment a minute ago (unless I was hallucinating)?????

Yup, people are free to interpret that comment however they wish

yeah, cos i thought you deserved benefit of the doubt

so, you're saying some of the people here are indecent in the context of setting yourself up as being somehow part of the "nice" crowd?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:36

Marya wrote:I too think that it is a shame that Tigger rules has decided to de-register Gedge and agree that we may seem rather cliquey. It can be difficult for example, to avoid 'in jokes' after months of Forum use with other regular posters. However, I would hope that in general we're a friendly bunch and welcoming when someone first posts with us; for instance, our 'Newbie' thread is there to encourage that 'maiden post'. Contrary to what many folk may think we don't all actually know each other off the web and we were all Newbies ourselves at some stage...and not all that long ago either!

Like the average family, we may squabble amongst ourselves, but are fiercely loyal when we are criticised by others. Unfortunately, I think that this is what happened recently. Angry criticism was made of the site and how it was run, which resulted in defensive posts. While I fully understand Tigger rules' anger, I still feel equally strongly that in this instance POL was being wrongly blamed.

it was the red text that got me. i'm nearly on 3000 posts and i've never had cause to use it once - i *occasionally* have used bold and italics, but good grief, talk about blowing your wad. if i was really and genuinely peeved i might consider capital letters, but colours!!!!!! maybe when aliens land or something, but even with history crashing round our ears i would think seriously about using coloured text on a forum post.

unless i was under 13, in which case i'd understand.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:37

So do colours really annoy you?

Absolutely brilliant on the Deli thread BTW.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:39

Porty wrote:So do colours really annoy you?

Absolutely brilliant on the Deli thread BTW.

there are 3 things which annoy me. among others.

1. being called "Matty".
2. when you come into work and the people in before you go "oh, good afternoooon!"
3. bad use of forum text colours

so watch it porty boy.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:42

What about people who say;

"Helloooo" when they are trying to draw attention to anothers ignorance or stupidity.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:43

Porty wrote:What about people who say;

"Helloooo" when they are trying to draw attention to anothers ignorance or stupidity.

Yeah, like, DUH.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:46

Dadaist wrote

I am 12.

and then

unless i was under 13, in which case i'd understand.

...so go ahead...blow your wad

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 15:53

foxy wrote:Dadaist wrote

I am 12.
and then

unless i was under 13, in which case i'd understand.
...so go ahead...blow your wad

Got me. Good one that. Now I have to tell an embarrassing story about myself *and* punctuate it with colours. Grr.

Time for the tape recorder story.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:18

Gedge wrote: When someone tries to join a community whether it's a new street, workplace or forum and feels unwelcome or uncomfortable, it's easy to dismiss that person as a "fruitcake".

Gedge, i did not dismiss Trigger, i welcomed him/her. I did identify them as a fruitcake and I stand by that identification.

Trigger asked that discussion were based on "well-researched FACTS" and I was happy to comply. Here is what I discovered:

First post; criticised the monitoring the whole forum and Bob in particular, without real substance or grounds.

Second Post: apologises

Third post: acknowledges the humour that prevails on POL and recognises he/she may have mis-judged the vibe.

Fourth Post: States his intent to resign as POL is not place for him/her and is having his details removed. Despite this he/she closes the post with â€œwell actually its been funâ€

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:22

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:25

Is there no limit to Dada's culinary talents?

. Roast turkey dinners, cheese boards and now cakes!!!

Mate of Marya · Post by **Mate of Marya** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:29

Are there any nuts in that fruitcake?

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:29

Dadaist wrote:

...Looks very nutty as well as fruity

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:30

Snap MoM

Mate of Marya · Post by **Mate of Marya** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:32

I was just concerned that Dadaist might have a nut allergy....

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:35

It's not one of mine - I have stolen that photo from google.

In terms of speciality cooking - I do the chinese & indian cooking and the lovely Mrs Dadaist does all the baking.

I am not a nut or a fruitcake, I am a fruit basket. Like one of those ones you take to sick people, with cellophane on it.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Jan 2006, 16:36

Mate of Marya wrote:I was just concerned that Dadaist might have a nut allergy....

Can he be allergic to himself??

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 13 Jan 2006, 17:42

Oh, good afternoon Matty!

I just had to do it

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 13 Jan 2006, 18:29

Back on-topic, anything can look like a clique from the outside but ask, for example, Jackson Priest how long it took from being a newbie to being a firm fixture both on and off-forum with 20 new, instant, low maintenance friends.

It is unfortunate that Tigger rules' first post was so critical of the forum and the way it is run, and on reflection he/she may feel that it was misjudged. Big deal, we all make mistakes. I hope that he/she decides to stick around, in which case I think he/she will discover that we are a friendly bunch and that the forum is a force for good in the community.

Even banned members get second chances on this forum, well some of them anyway.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 13 Jan 2006, 18:36

Dadaist wrote: Got me. Good one that. Now I have to tell an embarrassing story about myself *and* punctuate it with colours. Grr.

Time for the tape recorder story.

Oh good!

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 13 Jan 2006, 18:40

Bob Jefferson wrote:Even banned members get second chances on this forum, well some of them anyway.

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 13 Jan 2006, 22:04

Mr Jefferson wrote:Back on-topic, anything can look like a clique from the outside but ask, for example, Jackson Priest how long it took from being a newbie to being a firm fixture both on and off-forum with 20 new, instant, low maintenance friends.

Hey there you cats. Just reading through this thread, and was going to post saying the same thing before I got to Bob's post above. Making the first post is a bit scary (not as scary as meeting you though), but I was made to feel welcome by literally hundreds of you.

I thought that those who replied to Tiger Rules were also welcoming and friendly, while defending the (in my opinion most unjust) criticisms. And if one lurks for a while before posting then it's pretty obvious that this forum can be a bit random (that's what chatting's supposed to be like), and that's one of the many beautiful beauteous beauties of this wonderful forum. If you want to discuss serious Portobello Matters in a serious matter of fact manner, then, er, look at... er... let's see... I know! Portobello Matters.

I'd also like to say that this forum has given me great joy, happiness, and a feeling of at one-ness with fellow members of the community in which I live.

Apart from when Poppy spies on me rummaging through bins, that is.

Mr Jackson Priest.

PS.

Oh - good AFTERNOON, MATTY!

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Jan 2006, 22:14

Apart from when Poppy spies on me rummaging through bins, that is.

Well, it was a tad difficult to NOT see someone lying on the road with a straw in the bung hole of a bottle bank.............

Don't you mess with me .... or Matty

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 13 Jan 2006, 22:53

Dadaist wrote:
Porty wrote:So do colours really annoy you?

Absolutely brilliant on the Deli thread BTW.
there are 3 things which annoy me. among others.

1. being called "Matty".
2. when you come into work and the people in before you go "oh, good afternoooon!"
3. bad use of forum text colours

so watch it porty boy.

You forgot " budgies"!!

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 13 Jan 2006, 23:10

Jackson Priest wrote:
Mr Jefferson wrote:Back on-topic, anything can look like a clique from the outside but ask, for example, Jackson Priest how long it took from being a newbie to being a firm fixture both on and off-forum with 20 new, instant, low maintenance friends.
Hey there you cats. Just reading through this thread, and was going to post saying the same thing before I got to Bob's post above. Making the first post is a bit scary (not as scary as meeting you though), but I was made to feel welcome by literally hundreds of you.

I thought that those who replied to Tiger Rules were also welcoming and friendly, while defending the (in my opinion most unjust) criticisms. And if one lurks for a while before posting then it's pretty obvious that this forum can be a bit random (that's what chatting's supposed to be like), and that's one of the many beautiful beauteous beauties of this wonderful forum. If you want to discuss serious Portobello Matters in a serious matter of fact manner, then, er, look at... er... let's see... I know! Portobello Matters.

I'd also like to say that this forum has given me great joy, happiness, and a feeling of at one-ness with fellow members of the community in which I live.

Apart from when Poppy spies on me rummaging through bins, that is.

Mr Jackson Priest.

PS.

Oh - good AFTERNOON, MATTY!

Jackson, you just said some things there that I would've said too!!

I like this forum because, even though I have not met any of you yet, I find you all very friendly and I also like your humour and wit which at times makes me laugh,also which is sometimes what is needed on a dull day!!

If the topic is too serious or not to one's taste, there's no need to join in, but wait till another thread which does interest comes along, there's always something!!!

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 14 Jan 2006, 00:40

NIGHT NIGHT MATTY, SLEEP TIGHT! AND DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 14 Jan 2006, 01:23

Sandra wrote:NIGHT NIGHT MATTY, SLEEP TIGHT! AND DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE

yeah yeah. laugh it up why don't you. i can take a joke. grrumph.

xxxx · Post by **xxxx** » 14 Jan 2006, 02:00

tiggers dramatic entry and lachrymose exit reminds me of a councillor that once visited,could they be related?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 14 Jan 2006, 20:37

I don't think TR sparked a debacle I think he/she sparked a debate (coz we're good at them

). If you think of the forum as you would a pub, you might sit back for a few weeks and lug into other peoples' conversations whilst having a quiet drink on your own (lurking) but you wouldn't then just walk up to the group and criticise them and everything they've been talking about (posting), so I don't see why people should think they can do it here without the criticisees being a bit miffed. I think that, despite this, we were pretty welcoming under the circumstances. As others have said, if you don't like what you're reading, stop reading it. I do that to Matty's posts most afternoons.