Dear Gilo

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 13 Oct 2006, 20:00

Is everything ok? Is life getting the better of you? Do you have money worries or other tricky problems. You might have a "friend" who is in difficulty. Well worry no more, your favourite agony uncle is here, online, to help.

All you have to do is post your problem and I'll do the rest. No doubt other posters will have words of wisdom too.

If you want it to remain anonymous just write in and I guarantee that your details will remain fairly confidential.

I've been around the block and know a thing or two. More importantly I've studied at the University Of Life and graduated with triple honours. Remember what they say 'a problem shared is a problem halved'.

I do it because I care

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 13 Oct 2006, 20:17

Ah another Roger Twongle

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Oct 2006, 20:27

If you've got a problem yo he'll solve it.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 13 Oct 2006, 21:52

We have our first problem. He wishes to remain anonymous. All his words, not mine.

"People are starting to acciuse Dada of being my son it must be bad. I'm told I was very aggresive. I was disappointed with my conduct. Think i was about 42. Enough was enough. I need to get back to the gym. Cue optician. The pattern is all too familiar. Unless you can enlighten us? I'm not expecting an answer. Its tumbleweed time again."

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 13 Oct 2006, 22:03

Dear oh dear this is a tough one to start with. You do seem to have got yourself into a muddle. Is Dada your son? If he is then you need to think carefully about your responsibilities, there may be many years to make up.

You seem to recognise your problem with aggression which is a great starting point. Recognising the problem is the first step to recovery. I'm perturbed that you may think there is no hope, no one to answer your call, you seem to be expecting the worst. Have people ignored you before? Have you asked questions, pressed for answers that were never forthcoming? It seems that way.

I won't ignore you, you're a good person and you're worth it. It's time to get back on the crazy vehicle called "life" and take it for a spin.

I recommend walking up a nearby mountain, get to the top, beat your chest and shout "I'm back and this time you're going to take notice" again and again.

Remember we're always here for you.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 Oct 2006, 22:51

If you've got a problem yo he'll "solve" it.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 14 Oct 2006, 01:02

Dear Agony Gilo

I try very hard to express my opinion on line as an individual but because I live in an aggressive posting neighbourhood governed by a Master Poster, people assume that my views are controlled and censored. I would love to tell you more but it's late ........................argh................

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 14 Oct 2006, 08:15

Dear PoP,

the first thing I'd like you to do is check in. Your ....argh.... has left me a little concerned.

I feel your pain, I think we all do. Who is this Master Poster you refer to and what an earth has s/he done to you? It's time for it to stop.

Find your voice, we all have one it's just that sometimes we lose it. I'd like you to write on a piece of paper "my voice", then I'd like you to get a friend to hide it and give you a clue as to where it is. Then you must find it.

When you've found it shout "this is my voice and I'm never going to lose it". You could also paint your face blue and white and shout "freedom" a few times.

this should help, if it doesn't, you know where I am.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 14 Oct 2006, 10:37

Dear Gilo

This morning I have to go the kitchen shop and tell them what kind of flooring I would like in my new kitchen...what should I choose

Perplexed foxy

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 14 Oct 2006, 10:58

foxy wrote:Dear Gilo

This morning I have to go the kitchen shop and tell them what kind of flooring I would like in my new kitchen...what should I choose

Perplexed foxy

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 14 Oct 2006, 12:32

This is a good question Foxy. I say go hell for leather on the floor. Spend hard on that and it'll give your pad the wow factor. Obviously I don't know what your kitchen looks like, but I'm a particular fan of expensive hard wood or flag stones depending on the vibe - and remember in the end what is your bank balance? it's just a bunch of numbers. Go foxy go.

One word of caution - Shopping only brings temporary relief, for greater satisfaction look deep into your heart.

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 14 Oct 2006, 22:04

Dear Gilo,

I worried because im finding it hard to finish my

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 15 Oct 2006, 14:02

Dear CatzVP,

don't worry. Try doing what Guy Pearce did in the fantabulous film Momento.

Gilo

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 15 Oct 2006, 14:45

Gilo wrote:This is a good question Foxy. I say go hell for leather on the floor. Spend hard on that and it'll give your pad the wow factor. Obviously I don't know what your kitchen looks like, but I'm a particular fan of expensive hard wood or flag stones depending on the vibe - and remember in the end what is your bank balance? it's just a bunch of numbers. Go foxy go.

One word of caution - Shopping only brings temporary relief, for greater satisfaction look deep into your heart.

Thanks for the advice Gilo...the guy in the shop said he's never been asked to put leather on a floor, but he's keen to see how it looks

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 Oct 2006, 15:25

I have a tricky problem. I'd like to know the definitive identity, or identities, of "Werther" : the Soviet spy inside the upper echelons of the Nazi war machine who gave timeous and accurate information to "Lucy" (Rudolf Roessler) from the "Red Three" (Die Rote Drei) spy ring in Switzerland - this was then passed to Moscow.

Werther's true identity has been speculated upon - from this or that officer or group of officers right up to Bormann himself.

Gilo - can you help?

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 15 Oct 2006, 17:33

Goodness me. Do you think Dear Deirdre has to put up with this? She gets love triangles and difficulties in the bedroom department.

You're right to question whether it's identity or identities. Werther was not a person but rather was the code for information on the German army, while Olga was the code for information about the Luftwaffe. Individuals who contributed Werther information included Lieutenant General Fritz Theile and Baron Colonel Rudolf von Gersdorff.

There was no original Werther hence my suspicions regarding the kindly looking man handing what looked like his grandson a toffee.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 Oct 2006, 18:03

Gilo wrote:Goodness me. Do you think Dear Deirdre has to put up with this? She gets love triangles and difficulties in the bedroom department.

You're right to question whether it's identity or identities. Werther was not a person but rather was the code for information on the German army, while Olga was the code for information about the Luftwaffe. Individuals who contributed Werther information included Lieutenant General Fritz Theile and Baron Colonel Rudolf von Gersdorff.

There was no original Werther hence my suspicions regarding the kindly looking man handing what looked like his grandson a toffee.

Cool!!

Can you tell me your source please - I would like to read it over nice Baileys

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 15 Oct 2006, 18:16

Dadaist wrote: Can you tell me your source please - I would like to read it over nice Baileys

The Red Orchestra: The Soviet Spy Network Inside Nazi Europe by V.E. Tarrant

I think that deserves you revealing the source of your delicious sounding Baileys.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 Oct 2006, 18:38

Morrison's at Piershill.

I've read that one - have you read Leo Trepper's autobiography?

My reason for asking for something definitive is because of an oddball book by Kilzer ("Hitler's Traitor") who claims that Werther couldn't have been those guys, and that the CIA report that Tarrant cites is flawed. I don't sign up to his theory but you know what it's like once doubt has been planted.

Reinhard Gehlen (Nazi counter-intelligence dude who went on to work for the CIA) is supposed to have said that Bormann was a Soviet spy, but I'm having second thoughts about buying his autobiography because it was translated by David Irving.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 15 Oct 2006, 20:20

No I haven't read Trepper's autobiography. As for Kilzer's book - I think it is important sometimes to see how the estblishment respond to books and my understanding is that this is discredited. That's the trouoble with history and historians, we always have to work out the historians angle in it all, like are they trying to make a name for themselves. Sometimes I think recognised history has to be one of some consensus to iron out individual takes. Irving is prime suspect No.1 which reminds me it's on in a bit.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 Oct 2006, 20:24

Thanks Gilo.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 15 Oct 2006, 20:25

foxy wrote:Gilo, you sound confused...maybe you should write to yourself

Dear Gilo,

I find Johnny Depp a very attractive man. Am I confused?

Gilo.

Dear Gilo,

Your not confused at all. In anyone's book he is lush and let's face it, we are all polymorphously bisexually whether we know it or not.

Gilo

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 Oct 2006, 20:35

Sure he's handsome, but I don't even want to kiss and cuddle him, let alone see his bum.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 16 Oct 2006, 09:21

Fair enough, though you might find yourself in the minority! My intention isn't to tell people what they like or don't like, I certainly believe in sexual preference, but consider these things:

I believe our identities are much more constructed than we think they are. We believe that these constructs are what we really are. To challenge them would be to mess with your sense of self and that can be very scarey.

If we were born into certain social strata in Ancient Greece, our sexual behaviour may be quite different!

I had a short spell in prison, professionally not personally, and not as a screw. Sexual activity between long term inmates was not uncommon. What was interesting was their "take" on it. One lifer I worked with said he was definately straight and on the outside he wouldn't look at men only women. he said that this was typical of our men. I don't doubt his sexual prefernce and that indeed on release he would ony have relationships with men. What interested me though was the inability to acknowledge the sexual satisfaction/attraction/warmth/intimacy etc. that he had got from his 'partner' in prison.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 16 Oct 2006, 09:36

Daer Gilo,

I am having a problem with a local agony aunt who seems to be a bit mixed up about their sexuality. I feel that they are a little deppressed and seek solace in complex soviet espionage literature.

Is there a regulatory body that I can complain to?

Porty

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 16 Oct 2006, 10:46

Dear Porty,

you want to put in a complaint about someone you fear might be confused and depressed? Shame on you. We are all sufferers of the human condition, agony aunts included.

Gilo

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 16 Oct 2006, 11:03

Gilo wrote:Fair enough, though you might find yourself in the minority! My intention isn't to tell people what they like or don't like, I certainly believe in sexual preference, but consider these things:

I believe our identities are much more constructed than we think they are. We believe that these constructs are what we really are. To challenge them would be to mess with your sense of self and that can be very scarey.

If we were born into certain social strata in Ancient Greece, our sexual behaviour may be quite different!

I had a short spell in prison, professionally not personally, and not as a screw. Sexual activity between long term inmates was not uncommon. What was interesting was their "take" on it. One lifer I worked with said he was definately straight and on the outside he wouldn't look at men only women. he said that this was typical of our men. I don't doubt his sexual prefernce and that indeed on release he would ony have relationships with men. What interested me though was the inability to acknowledge the sexual satisfaction/attraction/warmth/intimacy etc. that he had got from his 'partner' in prison.

Fascinating! Denholm Elliot said roughly the same thing about his time in a POW camp, but when he came out he continued same sex relationships.

It's all fine by me. If I ever do get the hots for Brad Pitt I'll let you know!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 16 Oct 2006, 11:08

Gilo wrote:Dear Porty,

you want to put in a complaint about someone you fear might be confused and depressed? Shame on you. We are all sufferers of the human condition, agony aunts included.

Gilo

No, I meant deppressed.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Oct 2006, 11:18

Dear Gilo

I'm confused about many things. Can anyone help?

Why is there never anything on tv when I have time to watch?

If broccoli is so good for you why doesn't it taste like chocolate?

Indigo. Is it a real colour or a pigment of Newton's imagination?

Why midgies?

Since posting on POL I find myself wandering the streets to see if people look like the avatars. Is someone doing the same to me or is this paranoia?

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 16 Oct 2006, 12:24

Porty wrote:No, I meant deppressed.

Apologies Porty, as usual you're way ahead of me.

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 16 Oct 2006, 12:33

SoupDragon wrote:Since posting on POL I find myself wandering the streets to see if people look like the avatars. Is someone doing the same to me or is this paranoia?

Are you trying to tell me people don't look like their avatars?

You're not green with 4 legs

I'm sure I've seen Dadist on Lothian Road on a Saturday night...

Unfortunatly I do look like my avatar. Beaker was a nickname at college.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 16 Oct 2006, 12:35

Dear Soup Dragon,

to get over nothing being on TV at the right time, folk are turning to the Sky plus box. Personally I struggle with the idea of lining the pocket of Murdoch, so my advice would be to stick to recording your favourite programmes and watch them when you want. As the Lost thread demonstrates, there are other imaginative ways to watch things when you want.

As regards broccolli. I'm with you on that one. I question the worth of the stuff. Worse than that, I find myself buying it and cooking it with alarming regularity. It is the lazy man's veg. From now on I think we should all think about the veg we eat.

A few years back I had the most wonderful holiday on Mull in May. The weather was warm and sunny throughout. I was speaking to a local and remarked on how lucky we are to get the weather and be pre-midge. He replied that the midge are a god send. "Without them this place would be bloody Blackpool".

I thought Indigo was a song by the delectable Olivia Newtron Bomb.

Yours Gilo

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 16 Oct 2006, 12:37

Sorry Soup Dragon, the avatars. No I doubt whether there are people looking for you, so it probably is a touch of the old paranoia.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Oct 2006, 12:49

So it's paranoia, 'bout time I had a hobby.

True I'm only green some of the time and the extra pair of legs get tucked away but I do make a lot of soup. Today's is carrot and ginger.

Knew there must be a reason for midgies though the weather must deter some of the tourists too.Iceland, another scienic country has fierce midgies. Even got a lake (myvatn ) named after them.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 16 Oct 2006, 13:16

Broccoli has got to be among the dullest of foods. Sprouts are so much tastier and characterful.

Dear Gilo,

I had lunch with a guy on Saturday who had seriously considered suicide. He had depression but it was physical rather than mental. The fluid that was supposed to keep his brain afloat was missing as his gland didn't function properly. He underwent a series of electric shock treatments that cured him. Any way my question is; do you think that is appropriate chat to be having at lunch time with a tee-total capacitor?

Porty
PS: What's bi-polarity?

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

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