Football - the football thread, for the love of the game

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 08 Jun 2004, 09:55

This link is *not safe for work*.

http://www.soccersucks.org

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 08 Jun 2004, 18:54

That is one *VERY* dodgy website, Surrealist!
Is that how you spend your free time? (I mean trawling explicit websites of course, not playing soccer in that particular fashion!) And you a responsible husband and father, too!
I'm shocked. Or something.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 08 Jun 2004, 19:48

Stan Bowles, Stan Bowles
Stan Bowles, Stan Bowles
Born is the king of Brunton Park

You'll never take the Warwick (etc)

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 08 Jun 2004, 20:03

Bellybabe wrote:That is one *VERY* dodgy website, Surrealist!
Is that how you spend your free time? (I mean trawling explicit websites of course, not playing soccer in that particular fashion!) And you a responsible husband and father, too!
I'm shocked. Or something.

Whoah there! All I did was type "soccer sucks" into google - and the wonders of the internet got me soccersucks.org.

Up until a couple of weeks ago I didn't even know where babies came from!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 08 Jun 2004, 22:10

France v England Sunday 17 June 7:45pm ITV. Be safe out there:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3786393.stm

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 08 Jun 2004, 23:20

Surrealist wrote:
Up until a couple of weeks ago I didn't even know where babies came from!!!!

Erm...hospitals? Simpsons ward?!
Hey, I'm gay and have two - most people REALLY can't figure out where those two came from!

Anyway, where babies come from has to be more interesting than bloody soccer (am I allowed to say that or will it be censored?) - d'you think Bob heard that or should i shout louder?!

Post by **wangi** » 09 Jun 2004, 09:31

Bellybabe wrote:Anyway, where babies come from has to be more interesting than bloody soccer (am I allowed to say that or will it be censored?) - d'you think Bob heard that or should i shout louder?!

Having babies is essential to the future of football.

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 09 Jun 2004, 11:29

I can just visualise the near-religious glint in wangi's eyes as he envisions a future generation of indoctrinated soccer-playing children!

That said, if my daughter *chooses* to bend it like Beckham, you can bet her nerd daddy will transform into the most annoying football parent.

We're just not ready to buy her these awful baby footie outfits just yet.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 10 Jun 2004, 16:03

Er... Is this soccer we're discussing? Isn't there supposed to be some tourney on at the moment..?

And while we're on the topic: "One of the sperm from the father's body must find and join an egg in the mother's body before a new person can be conceived, or start to grow. Here the love of parents comes into the story. In an act of love the father puts the sperm into the mother's body..." etc.

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 10 Jun 2004, 16:18

So I guess the moral of this thread is, whether it's procreation or Euro 2004 - just lie back and think of England.....

Post by **wangi** » 10 Jun 2004, 17:33

Guys, you've set the stage perfectly for this joke...

David Beckham's voice is going to be used to make all stadium announcements at England's Euro 2004 matches.

A spokesman said, "We heard he comes over the PA really well."

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 10 Jun 2004, 20:10

Alex wrote: And while we're on the topic: "One of the sperm from the father's body must find and join an egg in the mother's body before a new person can be conceived, or start to grow. Here the love of parents comes into the story. In an act of love the father puts the sperm into the mother's body..." etc.

Indeed! Long live the patriarchy, that's what I say! Act of love, act of drunkenness, act of rape, act of NHS...

Now I need to go and lie down and take my medication.

I seem to have been catapulted into a parallel universe.

What are we quoting, exactly?

Fab joke, Wangi - no doubt I will shortly receive that via text message from my brother shortly. Unless I beat him to it.

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 10 Jun 2004, 20:17

Oh, and alex, since i assume that was for Surrealist's benefit (slightly worryingly since he's got one!), don't you think you'd better add diagrams?!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 13 Jun 2004, 20:24

YES, GET IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 13 Jun 2004, 21:36

ALLEZ LES BLEUS!!!!!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 13 Jun 2004, 21:41

Fucking French lucky wankers!

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 13 Jun 2004, 21:49

WAHEEEEEY ZIDANE !!!!! SACRE BLEU !!!!!! VIVE LA FRANCE !!!!!!!!!!!

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 13 Jun 2004, 21:59

i must remember to cuddle emily next time england are winning a game

france were down 1-0 and i took my daughter into my arms and, lo and behold, england stuffed up the game with a foul and a penalty in the space of time it took me to realise emily had filled her nappy

yeeeeeeeees (don't worry, i changed her just as soon as i could see the smile wiped off lynam's face)

i really hope the final is england v france and that they goof it up again

and you can bet if it does i will have my lovely little good luck charm primed up and ready to do "the business" as it were

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 16 Jun 2004, 20:04

Sings........."Had enough, had enough, had enough......had enough, had enough, had enoughhhhhh..."

Is there much longer to go?????

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 16 Jun 2004, 20:09

Don't worry -- there's always Big Brother on Channel 4.

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 16 Jun 2004, 22:50

Alex wrote:Don't worry -- there's always Big Brother on Channel 4.

I just hate the way Big Brother and football are taking over everywhere, destroying local communities in their never ending search for power. Destroying the rainforests, ruining the lives of farmers and pensioners and taking over local services, all in the ever-more avaricious search for cheaper TV and higher profits...

Get rid of all this rubbish and put Quincy back on! Then my life will be complete again. I love that man. And I'm not the only woman in portobello who does. I even had the theme tune on my mobile...

Anyone else think maybe I need therapy?

Surrealist · Post by **Surrealist** » 16 Jun 2004, 23:38

Diagnosis Murder was much better than Quincy.