Boys' Toys

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 11:53

This thread is not for girls' toys, nor for non-violent boys' toys. (*)

This thread takes place in an imaginary house in the midst of a game where any and all toys can attack each other - like the mass paggers when you could mix up pretty much anything.

You can introduce any toy you like from your childhood as long as it had some form of offensive capability.(**)

A typical post would be "my Action Man tank fires at your Jabba's Palace Plinth"

The only rule is that it has to be a toy you owned or played with (toys at your friends houses or ones in the shops you never got are allowed)

There are no other rules, scoring, winners or losers. Just carnage.

Link to photos if you can be bothered.

I'll start by placing my prized Imperial Troop Transporter in the middle of the room, laser cannon at the ready.

(*) Other toys may be used as obstructions or cover, though.

(**) Supposedly non-violent toys may be hijacked, used in a kamikaze capability or re-tooled to become offensive - like an airport firetruck with a nozzle can become a flamethrower.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 12:33

My starship Enterprise has just come into the planet's orbit and is targetting its phaser banks and two photon torpedoes at your house ...

Defend yourself!!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 12:36

Wow! Forgot about space ships. Too busy thinking of the land battle.

Right, to buy me some time I'm going to send up my Space 1999 ship (the one with the cargo thing underneath but no guns) into your path.

Maybe crash into you or something. Or maybe the cargo bit underneath is a big bomb.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 12:40

Shields at maximum!! Two photon torpedoes are speeding into the path of your ill fated eagle!!

I despatch six White Star battleships from Babylon Five with orders to crush any resistance on your part!!!

Your Eagle is about to land ... in 1000 pieces!!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 12:45

Cleopas wrote:Shields at maximum!! Two photon torpedoes are speeding into the path of your ill fated eagle!!

I despatch six White Star battleships from Babylon Five with orders to crush any resistance on your part!!!

Your Eagle is about to land ... in 1000 pieces!!!

You're about to get zapped by the Millennium Falcon. Han is at the controls, Chewie is at the guns.

You had a Babylon 5 toy??? Isn't that a bit recent?

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 13:03

And?? Your point is .... ???

The Millenium Falcon is surprised when sixteen Stargate Wing Gliders hove into view firing laser cannons.

(I have an extensive collection of imports in my spare room, which I'm decking out as a sci-fi homage centre! Sad, innit?) (Like I care!

)

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 13:41

I think I've lost the space battle.

I never figured my childhood toys being up against a hardcore sci-fi enthusiast's replica collection but you know what they say - all's fair in love and internets.

You're going to send in the Predator against my Lego men aren't you?

Git.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 13:44

Right after the Aliens went in!!

Your Millenium Falcon ran away like a girl from a teensy-weensy spider!!!

Git?? Yes I am!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 04 Dec 2006, 13:45

What can I do with my Johnny Seven gun? It seems so outdated on this thread. And who was J 7?

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 13:51

Johnny Seven is SOOOOO old he's probably got a free TV licence ... I'm going to send wimpy Daniel Jackson in with a zat n'k'tel (zat gun) to do J7 in once and for all!

(Johnny Seven O.M.A. (One Man Army) was a multi-function toy weapon produced by Deluxe Reading under their Topper Toys toyline during the 1960s.) see Wikipedia for more!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 04 Dec 2006, 14:01

I had the gun at the time but wasn't sure if Johnny was a real fictional character?

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 14:02

"Real"??? Get a grip Porty!!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 14:45

My Action Man in Wehrmacht duds has arrived on the scene, ready to kick off the ground battle, 70s style.

But first I'm going to clear any mines you might have laid with a penal battalion - the Millwall Subuteo team.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 14:45

Porty wrote:I had the gun at the time but wasn't sure if Johnny was a real fictional character?

I knew what you meant.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 04 Dec 2006, 14:49

Thundercats sword and Stars Wars Laser weapons once ruled in our house.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 04 Dec 2006, 15:46

Oh yeah???

I just built the Richard Pryor / Robert Vaughn Superman III fortress supercomputer thingy out of Lego and it's impregnable.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 17:40

My Lego Deathstar has just come through a spacewarp, and is about to destroy your supercomputer and impregnate Annie Ross!!!

Pal of Porty's weak effort has just been melted into slag!!

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 04 Dec 2006, 19:00

Cleopas wrote:...Pal of Porty's weak effort has just been melted into slag!!

May the force be with you.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 04 Dec 2006, 19:18

Actually, it's December 4th!

Now ... are you going to surrender to the mighty spacefleets of Megaclee ... or do we annihilate you, your pal ... and all you hold dear?

Think carefully ... and choose wisely ... my cyberarmies wait to march over your lifeless corpse!

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 20:54

The moons of Zega C'Lor have rebelled against Cyberclee and are sending their highly trained Fireball XL5 hardliners to buffer the Lego army Dada has built.

Commander Koenig has succesfully deployed Moonbase Alpha in a protective/defensive manouever over Dada's rebel planet ... while Commander Straker is racing through space with his UFOthons to back up Dada!

I have sent for my great warrior Captain Scarlet the Undying with Angels #1, #2 and #3 from the Spectrum helicarrier.

You want war, Dada??

You just got it! I have been joined by the Borg and the shadow-warriors of Z'Ha'Dum. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 06 Dec 2006, 23:24

Watch out boys, cos I have miskicked my Peter Barnes Football Trainer yet again - it's sliced over into the Borgs kingdom, decimating them in one swervy movement, spun over into the Millwall team, who actually turned out to be Ipswich, so not as hard, and made them all cry, before twanging back on its elastic at ferocious knottage, taking out the Falcon, several tie-fighters, and my left testicle in the process. Ouch.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 23:33

Two bugs from Klendathu are dropped on to Nelson Hatstand's house under telepath orders. They destroy his Peter Barnes Football Trainer completely, then converge on Nelson himself and in a pincer movement with extreme precision, surgically snip off his remaining testicle.

They leave Mrs Hatstand a very unhappy woman ... a state similar to her husband!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 07 Dec 2006, 00:21

Cleopas wrote:The moons of Zega C'Lor have rebelled against Cyberclee and are sending their highly trained Fireball XL5 hardliners to buffer the Lego army Dada has built.

Commander Koenig has succesfully deployed Moonbase Alpha in a protective/defensive manouever over Dada's rebel planet ... while Commander Straker is racing through space with his UFOthons to back up Dada!

I have sent for my great warrior Captain Scarlet the Undying with Angels #1, #2 and #3 from the Spectrum helicarrier.

You want war, Dada??

You just got it! I have been joined by the Borg and the shadow-warriors of Z'Ha'Dum. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

DON'T PANIC

Marvins on his way and will save you all (if the pain from the diodes in his left hand side dont get to him first)

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 10 Dec 2006, 18:18

I may not be a boy but I'm sending in my talking Jack Sparrow, who lives on his wits and by his sword, joining him is my Lara Croft complete with two uzi's and and M4. I also have a lego pirate, shark and town marshal.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 11 Dec 2006, 01:06

Six Andromeda Ascendant nova bombs explode and take out Soupdragon and Black Mamba's forces.

70 Cylon Raiders enter the fray and start fighting Colonial Vipers as Angels 1, 2 and 3 are dispatched from Spectrum to monitor the situation. A Sirian mothership (V) and the USS Voyager join forces with a Deathstar to chase after a ship that suddenly appeared and disappeared. The words "Red Dwarf" were written on its side. A starbug is chasing it too!

46 Uranian death gliders enter the star system, just as Lex Luthor turns up with his latest acquisition ... the alien Warworld.

Meanwhile, a Boomtube from outside our Universe opens up and the God of dread Apokolips, Darkseid, sends his parademons teeming through it with the assassin, Kantos Kan and Virman Vundabar with the Female Furies, Artemis, Bernadeth, Bloody Mary, Gilotina, Lashina, Mad Harriet, Malice, Speed Queen, Stompa, and Wunda ... led by the terrible matriarch, Granny Goodness. They want to destroy ALL of us!!!

We are in deep doo-doo! HELP!!!!

!!!!!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 11 Dec 2006, 11:18

Super Girl and Wonder Woman arrive back with reenforcements from New Genesis with E.T and A.L.F.
Meanwhile the Clangers, energised by blue string pudding, have found and ressurected an old Imperial AT AT walker and send it out to hold back the evil forces.

Bleep and Booster arrive and using nothing but sticky back plastic and old washing up bottles make a terrifying weapon

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 11 Dec 2006, 11:45

Armed with their Duel Decks Clanger 2 and 4 challenge all comers to Yi Gi Oh; meanwhile their sisters plant Tamagotchis and Furbies causing despair and confusion amongst the enemy.
They are then surrounded by sickly sweet My Little Ponies with Barbies sent in to finish them off.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 11 Dec 2006, 12:25

Yu Gi Oh - nice. I've got a Gameboy Advance emulator on my laptop with some of those games - not as much fun as the real cards though.

I bring up an L-shaped 1-sided plastic sandbag emplacement with a WW2 machine gunner and another plastic soldier who is frozen mid-grenade throw. You know the ones.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 11 Dec 2006, 12:53

The continued defiance of these POLers is but the bite of a gnat to a 10 metre tall giant.

180 T2s have come back from the future to excise you from the planet's face, backed up by the military might of the Trigan Empire. I have employed 44 Predators on the Asian side of your world and deposited 18000 Alien eggs in South America.

The Silver Surfer swoops down and heralds the coming of Galactus and 4 Controller bred sun-eaters. The worldships of the Dominators are in close proximity and the advance warriors of the Khund militia agree to become land forces.

You WILL bow down before me, Dada-El and Souperdragon!!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 11 Dec 2006, 13:24

Boba Fett

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 11 Dec 2006, 14:05

... has been destroyed by Faora Hu-ul, notorious Kryptonian man-hater, freed at last from the Phantom Zone where Krypton's worst criminals are imprisoned!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 11 Dec 2006, 14:06

Hmm in trouble here. So who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

The firehouse is hauled out from the corner of the room , the old ambulance /ghostbuster car creaks out from under the bed, backpacks are donned and Slimer slimes.

Get that green gunk off your soldiers and aliens! Ha!

For added measure take some plasticine and play-dough! Ha ha ha HA!

PS the rules to Yu GI Oh card games are quite beyond me. I'm sure the boys make it up as they go along but it keeps them and pals happy for hours seriously studying the decks.

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 14 Dec 2006, 19:55

I'm sending my high chaparral figures riding on my old hornby train set (I was a tomboy okay), followed by my James bond car complete with guns rear screen shield oil spillers and ejector seat so he can leap out and attack with his gun

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 15 Dec 2006, 00:20

Well I'm going to pass my "Peacepipe " around so you can all call a truce and be friends for Christmas!!!

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 15 Dec 2006, 00:20

Well I'm going to pass my "Peacepipe " around so you can all call a truce and be friends for Christmas!!!