Interviews

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 11 Dec 2006, 11:47

Come in, take a seat. Did you get here ok?

Interviews are a weird part of working life. They are as related to the day-to-day "stuff" of a job as a first date is to the rest of a relationship or having someone round to a shared flat "to see the room" is to living with them.

I don't have an alternative, nor do I know anything about all the theory that must go behind it all.

I'm lucky in that I have no problem walking into a room to be faced by several complete strangers who want to ask me things. Different people get nerves for different things - I have nothing but sympathy for anyone that gets nerves before and during interviews. I know that interviewers must make allowances etc, but a fluffed interview is a fluffed interview.

I'm not planning on attending any in the forseeable - but if you have one - good luck!

The reason for this post is that I was talking to someone who told me of a couple of types of interview I didn't even know existed :

Trial By Dinner

Interviewee is invited out to dinner with the people from the workplace. They must face questions at the same time as making choices from menus etc.

Tea And Scones With Wife/Hubby

This one is odd. Even though it's (say) the wife who is applying for the job, both her and her husband get interviewed - over tea and scones in someone's house. The interviewing pair split into different rooms and both partners get grilled in turn by both hosts - whilst eating jammy scones. I couldn't have imagined this even if I had tried. It still exists (we know the people it happened to) but sounds more like an interrogation technique than an interview.

I've had some comedy interviews in my time :

(1) I walked into an internet cafe which had a job advert in the window holding a takeaway coffee from another shop. The interview went like this :

"you can't bring that [pointing at my coffee] in here"

"it's ok, I've come about the job"

"well you haven't got it. get out - you're a boo-boo"

I don't think I got that one.

(2) I had an entire interview for a position whose only task was making toast. I didn't really have any questions. I was accepted, declined the position, and had my dole stopped.

(3) I didn't turn up for an interview washing the dishes at the Hibs ground. Dole stopped again.

(4) I was doing a training course and someone walked into the room and asked if anyone wanted a job. I put my hand up - that was pretty much the whole process.

(5) The opening words of this interview were "can you not shake my hand so hard next time, I've got a sporting injury". I got the job!

(6) Not really comedy, but has always stuck in my mind. Just off Bristo square was a Polish restaurant called Szymanski's. He advertised for a waiter and I walked in and got an interview. He couldn't have been nicer - and the two of us were sat chatting when this guy came in.

"YES???" (Szymanski)

"I've come about the job"

"YEAH?? WHAT DO YOU WANT - WAITER OR CHEF??"

"Er - chef, I think"

"WELL WE WANT A WAITER - BYE"

This guy almost ran out of the restaurant. The proprietor turns back to me, smiling sweetly, and continues the interview like the last exchange never happened.

I got the job and lasted one night.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 11 Dec 2006, 12:25

Great stories.

I have endured Trial by Dinner and Tean= and Scones with wife. I eventually got the job after being refused initially and offered a different job, with the same company, which I would have been terrible at.

I don't think I regret it but it was one of those situtations where it becomes about the process and you lose sight of what the job is all about its a sort of you against them. At one point I thought they were following me to the bathroom. Basically becaause I was followed into the loo by one of the high heid yins. I asked him "are you following me?" and he found it very funny, which I think helped my case. I'm stilll unsure as to wtheher he was or wasn't following me?

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 14 Dec 2006, 00:27

Many, many moons ago when Mr Soupy was still young , (yes THAT long ago

) Mr Soupy and his family had emigrated to Australia. He went for an interview for a job which he swears went like this

Head of Department " Ah a fellow Scot "

Mr S " Yes Sir "

HOD " So what team do you support?"

Mr S *****

HOD "Congratulations, you start on Monday"

Doubt that could happen today, even in the land of Oz

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 14 Dec 2006, 14:51

Oh I don't know, dog bottom lickers are still hard to find.