Rubbish/Just Plain Strange Xmas Prezzies

impossiblevoices · Post by **impossiblevoices** » 02 Jan 2007, 12:11

Has anyone been given any rubbish/strange prezzies this year?

Last Christmas I was given a tray. A tray. I ask you. If I get round to it, I might post a pic of it later.

This year, Mrs IV was given a pair of wellies and my brother was given a cushion.

What is going on...?

Messalina · Post by **Messalina** » 02 Jan 2007, 12:28

My mother gave me a very strange looking picture and I can't tell which way to hang it, which I'll never do because I really really don't like it.

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Jan 2007, 13:15

I got a duster.........

well I say duster - more a sort of furry glove!

I did ask for a duster but I really meant a human being who would pop in now and again........and dust.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 02 Jan 2007, 13:17

ali wrote:I did ask for a duster but I really meant a human being who would pop in now and again........and dust.

If you find one, pick up one for me too

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 02 Jan 2007, 13:39

I got a cushion last year with a homemade tapestry on the front which doesn't fit the cushion and this year a dreadful top with sequins on it.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 02 Jan 2007, 14:51

I got a very delicate, lady like, hand bag sized, leather bound, lime green, all in a beautiful matching presentation box.........wait for it.......tape measure!

Robin! · Post by **Robin!** » 02 Jan 2007, 15:51

I once got a block of wood with a hole on the bottom, shake it enough and the marble fell out. Think we use to hold the window open.

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 03 Jan 2007, 10:35

I got a bag of Sainsbury's Mixed Nuts this year. Mrs. R. thought it was highly appropriate.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 03 Jan 2007, 10:59

I got some truly wacky presents.

One of them was a box which contained products specifically designed to either mask my body's natural odours or strip my hair of its natural conditioning oil. Usage of both I can only assume will make me less able to resist the cold and less likely to attract a mate through masking my pheromones. I'd rather build up a protective layer of dirt, oil and grease.

Next up was a bottle of poison from a Scottish island. Someone cultured an organism to turn sugars into ethanol - whose effects on the brain and liver are well-known - and then tainted it with wood flavour for 14 years. Disgusting.

I got a packet of cloth items designed to restrict and cover my genitalia, possibly leading to infertility and, in conjunction with my presumed lack of sex scent, less likely to attract a mate by inability to present my bottom in a mating ritual. Daft items.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 03 Jan 2007, 11:26

Dadaist wrote:
I got a packet of cloth items designed to restrict and cover my genitalia, possibly leading to infertility and, in conjunction with my presumed lack of sex scent, less likely to attract a mate by inability to present my bottom in a mating ritual. Daft items.

Socks?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 03 Jan 2007, 11:30

Porty wrote:
Dadaist wrote:
I got a packet of cloth items designed to restrict and cover my genitalia, possibly leading to infertility and, in conjunction with my presumed lack of sex scent, less likely to attract a mate by inability to present my bottom in a mating ritual. Daft items.
Socks?

No they cover the whole front and back bottom areas and consist either of restricting elastic or a tight material which, when worn, shape themselves to the countour of the body parts held hostage underneath.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 03 Jan 2007, 20:47

I was very pleased with my pressies.
Some of the haul shown below

made pic smaller to stop "streching" the page

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 03 Jan 2007, 21:12

Cute trowel set. I'll have the non-dairy G&B chocs (please) - you can have the rest. That hat will cause you to be spladooshed. Drink looks OK, etc., etc.
.
.
.
.
But one has to ask: WTH is the blue plastic object??

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 03 Jan 2007, 21:24

Poppy wrote: .
.
.
.
But one has to ask: WTH is the blue plastic object??

Could it be a bucket with a disposable bag in it???

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 03 Jan 2007, 21:30

Air gun. You can fire a wee blast of air across a room and annoy someone with your comedy gust. Someone in the gadget shop almost fired one at me - I looked at them and they decided not to.

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 03 Jan 2007, 21:44

Mr Spoon got one of those blue plastic bucket things a couple of years ago and he thought it was great fun. He used to torment the poor dog with it

.........he hated it and used to attack it whenever he saw it come near. He hates Christmas crackers too (the bang) and if you're not careful he will grab it out of your hand and "kill" it

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 03 Jan 2007, 21:46

Spot on , Dadaist, it's an air bazooka. I wanted a real one for the pigeons on the window sill, car alarms that go off at night, wee birds tweeting early morning but they wouldn't sell Mr Soupy one. Wonder why?

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 03 Jan 2007, 23:18

Are the pink shoe type thingys, those slip on wellies or just slippers? Either way very nice choice. Love the trowel set...would be a shame to dirty it, which of course would be no problem to me

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 03 Jan 2007, 23:30

Love the trowel set...would be a shame to dirty it, which of course would be no problem to me

You can get 'girlie' hammers and other DIY tools too - I saw them in several shops (but the only one I remember where was Valvona & Crolla of all places!!)

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 03 Jan 2007, 23:31

The rosy shoes are indeed slip on welly type things. The trowel set seems too nice to use. Sis gave me both as I've started growing herbs, after years of looking at weeds I took unilateral action and laid black sheeting and bark in the borders of the back green with some plants . I have discovered rosemary likes the Portobello environment as does lavender. I've also got some sage and thyme in pots. So if you need fresh herbs....

The purple hat was from Clanger 1. It's for those "moments" when a tea cosy should be on the head, basically a variation of "when I'm old I shall wear purple" by Jenny Joseph

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 03 Jan 2007, 23:43

Oh and please note my restraint. Pic taken today.
Chocs still intact.
So's the voddie and the wine!

Clanger 1 eyed up some girly tools as she's starting an intro to mechanics course soon.

Got a great book from Sis Mrs Fixit Everyday DIY by Paula Lamb

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 03 Jan 2007, 23:46

please note my restraint

So noted!! But it's only cos you've not been well

Hope you are feeling better now!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 04 Jan 2007, 00:04

OOPS caught out!

I'm feeling much better thank you.

The Smirnoff may look a bit lower this weekend.