Frontal Lobe

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 20:56

Can anyone help me here???????

If someone has no frontal lobe in the brain how can I help them?

We have not long been told this about K she has been getting into lots of scraps at school with pupils and teachers and then gets sent home.this is what she wants and thinks its good to be home with mum.

We are having a big meetting soon at her s/n school and I have all sorts of docs coming from the hospital.She is getting 1 to 1 at school but they let her loose in the playground and she can't cope with all that freedom.

All help on this matter would be most helpfull to me as I want to go in there guns blazing.

mr magnolia · Post by **mr magnolia** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:14

sounds a bit scary, Izzie.

heres a couple of random links

http://www.brainconnection.com/topics/? ... nal-brain5

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe

good luck

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:16

mr magnolia wrote:sounds a bit scary, Izzie.

good luck

Sums it up for me too.

XX

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:26

When I talk to the school they tell me she should know better but this tells us she can't help it

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:26

Izzie, sounds as though you should be getting more support on this. You certainly shouldn't need to be on the defensive for this. You are not failing K ,the system is. Ask what the docs/experts believe she needs and then ask how the authorities are going to supply it. You don't need to be confrontational, just acknowlege that there are obviously problems, but assert that K has rights (I'm asuming she has a written record of needs?) and ask how these are going to be met. Just keep repeating that question until you get some answers.

Lots of luck from me too!

M

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:32

She has a record of needs but the staff just tell us that it meens nothing

She has her own teacher and a teachers ass. and it says on the record of needs she needs 1 or 2 staff at all times but this does not happen

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 13 Jan 2007, 21:39

Hopefully the pending meeting might answer some questions for you Izzie.Keep pushing for support, sounds like she needs it. Good luck.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 13 Jan 2007, 22:51

Why have a record of needs if it means nothing?? Think that is maybe just an excuse!!!

My daughter who, is deaf,( now left school) used to have a record of needs which were kept at her school and every so often there would be meetings where everyone involved with her attended to discuss her, and what help was available for her. I must admit they were really a good help to us.
But times have changed since then and I believe that the government have decided that they would like to close some s/n schools and integrate the children into mainstream schools. I don't really think that would work. Some children need one to one and get confused when other children are there.
Do you have a social worker Izzie? They're supposed to help!!!
Hope the meeting goes well and that they help instead of hinder things for you.

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:04

I use to have a s.worker when we fostered her.We then went on and adopted her and we were dropped like hot bricks.That was 10 years ago and we were told that we wanted her and we had to get on with it.

This is the 4th s/n school that she has been to and she also got taught at home for a while

This is all to do with the fact that she is a good talker[she takes after me with that one] so she is hard work and the schools like nice quite kids

Sorry starting to rant here

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:09

You don't want to go into the meeting confrontational and emotional so think about what you want to say and write it down before hand.
A letter to the staff themselves might be a help.
Printing out a copy of the above mentioned articles to give to the staff or enclosing it with your letter might be useful. They may not know or understand the extent of the condition as yet
Point out though, that she is incapable of "knowing better".
You need help and support and I hope you get it.
I wish you well

lizk · Post by **lizk** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:09

I did a placement at Forteviot House (part of RHSC) about 9 years ago, with younger children- they attended either daily, or weekly, and involved families and schools. very impressed at that time. I've heard from parents/colleagues whose teenagers needed support that the YPU at Royal Ed were helpful, whilst respecting teenagers need for autonomy and privacy. It's a stressful time for everyone- child, family and friends and leads to increased feelings of isolation/ frustration/anger.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:16

I understand why you need to rant Izzie!!! Your wanting help and not getting it!!!

It shouldn't matter if K is adopted, fostered or your own child, there should always be help available and someone to talk to who will listen to you and understand what you're going through.

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:18

lizk wrote:I did a placement at Forteviot House (part of RHSC) about 9 years ago, with younger children- they attended either daily, or weekly, and involved families and schools. very impressed at that time. I've heard from parents/colleagues whose teenagers needed support that the YPU at Royal Ed were helpful, whilst respecting teenagers need for autonomy and privacy. It's a stressful time for everyone- child, family and friends and leads to increased feelings of isolation/ frustration/anger.

She went to Forteviot House about 3 years ago for 3 months and she loved it so did I the staff there were spot on with her needs and she felt good about herself there

We now have a nurse from the Royal Ed coming to see us now as we are just begining to move from the Sick Kids she is 13 years so things are moving there

I wont even talk about isolation I cant go out without her and I cant take her anywhere

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:23

Sorry lizk welcome to the board and don't listen to me to much, just feeling sorry for myself tonight thinking about this meeting

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:23

Hi lizk, welcome.
One of my sons went to Forteviot House for a while on a weekly basis. he was dyslexic and got frustrated and angry so the primary school referred him. He's done well since then ( in spite of the secondary school" forgetting" he was dyslexic in 3rd year) and he stayed on until 6th year. If he hadn't had help as early on I don't know how he would have ended up.

Rant away Izzie. Everyone needs to let off steam and get a chance to gather their thoughts. I don't have the problems that you are dealing with but empathise
Like Frasier I'm listening ( groan that's smaltzy )

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:26

Izzie wrote:Sorry lizk welcome to the board and don't listen to me to much, just feeling sorry for myself tonight thinking about this meeting

Well I feel sorry for you too!!!!!
Life is stressful enough but yours is extra stressful!!!

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:30

Between her health my health and the cat going to the vet every week.

I think I might just run away or just take some painkillers and go to my bed.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:31

Sympathy and cyber hugs, Izzie

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:34

SoupDragon wrote:Sympathy and cyber hugs, Izzie

Thank you LOTS

lizk · Post by **lizk** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:41

Izzie, sometimes its good to talk to people who are not directly involved- so feel free to rant and let off steam ocassionally- especially when not in front of person with the illness. (Can you tell I was interested in child psychology and would have went for a job at Forteviot if one had been available at time. I was a mature student with children, so understood/ could empathise with all involved)

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:44

SoupDragon wrote:Sympathy and cyber hugs, Izzie

Ditto from me, got family probs, but nothing like this.

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 13 Jan 2007, 23:59

Forteviot was a life saver at the time They lifted me out of a big black hole and give me space and help to move on

There is one of their docs coming to this meeting and she is lovely and hopefully sort it out with the school Dr Manders from the sick kids is also coming so might just let them get on with it,but it is hard when its your child they are talking about

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 14 Jan 2007, 00:08

Feel free to rant yell and vent your frustrations to us.
Got a 13 yr old and its bad enough with the turmoil of emotions, frustrations and hormones odf a "normal" teenager.

we're not emotionally involved so you may be able to think what you want to say to the school/doc etc more clearly once you have a rant to us.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 14 Jan 2007, 00:21

Poppy wrote:
SoupDragon wrote:Sympathy and cyber hugs, Izzie
Ditto from me, got family probs, but nothing like this.

And a big hug from me too!!!

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 14 Jan 2007, 15:50

and me, Izzie

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 14 Jan 2007, 21:16

Sorry about that outburst I was just feelling sorry for myself

Feelling alot better today although very sleepy as K does not sleep so fingers crossed for tonight

Thank you all for your help last night. The meetting is on Tuesday at 9.00am so I will let you know how it goes.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 14 Jan 2007, 21:44

Izzie wrote:Sorry about that outburst I was just feelling sorry for myself

You have every reason to feel sorry for yourself so no need to feel embarrassed, Izzie!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Jan 2007, 00:43

Think this is what community forums should be for. You need help and support, we hope to provide, even if it's just people to listen to you and let you express yourself. I for one don't mind at all. Glad you felt you could share the downs as well as the ups. Please dont feel embarrassed.
Good luck and will be thinking of you come Tuesday

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 15 Jan 2007, 12:11

Good luck for your meeting tomorrow, Izzie

We don't mind you letting off steam, keep us posted.

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 15 Jan 2007, 14:25

Good luck for tomorrow, Izzie.

I'm sure the new disability act affects what authorities and schools are obliged to provide where there's a record of needs, but I'll ask oh later if they know anything about that and let you know if they do. All teachers are supposed to have some training on it and to know what tehir new obligations are, but I admit I know very little about it.

What a time of it you're having.

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 15 Jan 2007, 18:40

Well what a shock I got today MY s/worker phoned me [hadn't a clue I had one] and is coming to the meeting

Looks like everyone apart from the school understands where K is coming from.

So the plan of action in the morning is that I keep my mouth shut and smile nicely when the people that matter tell the school how to cope with her and she does need 1 to 1 at all times

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 15 Jan 2007, 18:46

Izzie, that's good news. I'm so glad you have suddenly got some of the support that's needed. It must be a great relief to you.

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 15 Jan 2007, 18:51

This is all down to the nurse from the R/Ed.

At last I have someone that will do things for us.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 15 Jan 2007, 19:15

SoupDragon wrote:Think this is what community forums should be for. You need help and support, we hope to provide, even if it's just people to listen to you and let you express yourself. I for one don't mind at all. Glad you felt you could share the downs as well as the ups. Please dont feel embarrassed.
Good luck and will be thinking of you come Tuesday

I'm in agreement with what " Soupdragon" said.
And I'm a really good listener( even though I can't hear properly, but my reading's o.k.!!!

)
Will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope all goes well for you and K.
Good Luck!!

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 16 Jan 2007, 14:09

Meeting over and all is well

School were not to happy about all that was said,but at last they will have to support K a lot better

I sat and said nothing much only to agree with docs which was spot on

So we will all wait and see if they [school] deliver everything or not

Next meeting is at the end of Feb

Thanks for letting me rant on a bit