Cure for baldness

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 27 Jan 2007, 17:12

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before.

I couldn't find one on the open market that seemed to work, so last year I sat down and devised my own, using various potions that we had lying round the house.

It seems to be working so far. I'll keep people informed if growth continues, and maybe then start selling it over the internet.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 27 Jan 2007, 17:50

Hope you're going to post photgraphic evidence...how about a docusoap for portybelly telly

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 27 Jan 2007, 18:50

foxy wrote:Hope you're going to post photgraphic evidence...how about a docusoap for portybelly telly

Well, I wasn't sure if I should or not - some people don't know what I looked like before anyway, so they might just think it's a con.

The other good thing is that the hair which is growing back - or 'renewed' as I'm going to say in the brochure, is the colour my hair was before I started going grey. Good eh?

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 27 Jan 2007, 23:09

You're not using boot polish the same colour of your hair are you?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 28 Jan 2007, 00:31

I very much doubt that they make boots that colour,

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 28 Jan 2007, 00:43

Purple? ( I've got a nice pair of Docs that colour )

Be easy to spladoosh then

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 28 Jan 2007, 11:04

Nelson Hatstand wrote: I'll keep people informed if growth continues, and maybe then start selling it over the internet.

This year marks the fortieth anniversary of the day I sat in the barber's chair and he said "Do you realise you're going bald in the back?"....... so if you want to give it a real trial

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 29 Jan 2007, 17:32

rathbone wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote: I'll keep people informed if growth continues, and maybe then start selling it over the internet.
This year marks the fortieth anniversary of the day I sat in the barber's chair and he said "Do you realise you're going bald in the back?"....... so if you want to give it a real trial

Going bald's a terrible thing to go through. I think I first noticed about 18 years ago, and not a day has gone by since then when I've not stared into space, dreaming of having long curly lustrous locks, like a big sexy stud.

But now it seems that my dreams are coming true. I might pm you a pic, Rathbone - I look markedly different to when I saw you in the pub a couple of months back. Then you can decide whether or not you want to give it a go.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 29 Jan 2007, 17:42

Nelson Hatstand wrote: I might pm you a pic, Rathbone - I look markedly different to when I saw you in the pub a couple of months back. .

Ah, but then again you were a completely different person a couple of months ago Nelson.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 29 Jan 2007, 17:48

That's true, Marya. It seems like a lifetime ago now since I made my Messalina-like transformation into that which I have now become. I can barely remember Jackson, but sometimes memories of him nudge at my subconscious - his soft skin, his almond smell, his shaky hand...

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 29 Jan 2007, 20:28

Nelson Hatstand wrote: dreaming of having long curly lustrous locks, like a big sexy stud

...to my knowledge none of the candidates for the "snogathon" outside the Town Hall have long curly lustrous locks, mind you, I don't think any of them are bald either...it's everything in moderation once again

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 01 Feb 2007, 12:30

foxy wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote: dreaming of having long curly lustrous locks, like a big sexy stud
...to my knowledge none of the candidates for the "snogathon" outside the Town Hall have long curly lustrous locks, mind you, I don't think any of them are bald either...it's everything in moderation once again

So what you are saying is that now that I have hair growth in moderation, that I'm in on the snogathon list, yes? When is it by the way?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 01 Feb 2007, 13:32

Nelson Hatstand wrote:
foxy wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote: dreaming of having long curly lustrous locks, like a big sexy stud
...to my knowledge none of the candidates for the "snogathon" outside the Town Hall have long curly lustrous locks, mind you, I don't think any of them are bald either...it's everything in moderation once again
So what you are saying is that now that I have hair growth in moderation, that I'm in on the snogathon list, yes? When is it by the way?

Is that what she said?

. I think you're reading more into this than was meant

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 01 Feb 2007, 16:01

Seanie's got long, curly, lustrous locks but it didn't get him on the snogathon list. I imagine he'll be heart broken about that

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 01 Feb 2007, 16:38

Marya wrote:Seanie's got long, curly, lustrous locks but it didn't get him on the snogathon list. I imagine he'll be heart broken about that

Huh, what does he expect when he's been ignoring us for weeks!!

Eyeing up POLers, eh?? You are as big a hussy as that Bellybabe person - hope it's not catching

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 02 Feb 2007, 14:43

Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness. Imagine her confusion when she sees you next (When describing Ali she said "well he just looks kind of grumpy"!).

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 14:50

gilo wrote:When describing Ali she said "well he just looks kind of grumpy"!.

Really?? *noted*

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 02 Feb 2007, 15:18

gilo wrote:Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness.

Eh? Did I miss something again?

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 17:42

gilo wrote:Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness. Imagine her confusion when she sees you next ...........

Well, I'll have to see the evidence before I believe it...........

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 02 Feb 2007, 18:10

ali wrote:
gilo wrote:Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness. Imagine her confusion when she sees you next ...........

Well, I'll have to see the evidence before I believe it...........

Are you saying that you don't believe me?

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 19:30

Nelson Hatstand wrote:
ali wrote:
gilo wrote:Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness. Imagine her confusion when she sees you next ...........

Well, I'll have to see the evidence before I believe it...........
Are you saying that you don't believe me?

Yes.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 02 Feb 2007, 20:02

ali wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote:
ali wrote:
Well, I'll have to see the evidence before I believe it...........
Are you saying that you don't believe me?
Yes.

I'm not going to rise to this bait. I don't see why I should have to prove anything.

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 21:19

Nelson Hatstand wrote:
ali wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote: Are you saying that you don't believe me?
Yes.
I'm not going to rise to this bait. I don't see why I should have to prove anything.

Ahah!!!!

I think we've rumbled your game, matey.

You can't prove anything, slaphead!!

You're at it.

And now everyone will know you're at it.

Unless you can prove it.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 02 Feb 2007, 21:46

What's your problem, you grumpy fucker? You're just jealous of my youth and handsomeness and feel threatened by the fact that everyone in the Ormelie fancies me and you never get a look in anyway, and now i've got hair it's gonna get even worse!

So I don't see why I should post a picture just to satisfy your cynical noggin. Even if I had one. Which I don't.

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 21:58

Nelson Hatstand wrote:What's your problem, you grumpy ***? You're just jealous of my youth and handsomeness and feel threatened by the fact that everyone in the Ormelie fancies me and you never get a look in anyway, and now i've got hair it's gonna get even worse!

So I don't see why I should post a picture just to satisfy your cynical noggin. Even if I had one. Which I don't.

Hair and dignity - that's two things I've got that you haven't.

...and I still say you're at it.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 02 Feb 2007, 22:06

ali wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote:What's your problem, you grumpy ***? You're just jealous of my youth and handsomeness and feel threatened by the fact that everyone in the Ormelie fancies me and you never get a look in anyway, and now i've got hair it's gonna get even worse!

So I don't see why I should post a picture just to satisfy your cynical noggin. Even if I had one. Which I don't.

Hair and dignity - that's two things I've got that you haven't.

...and I still say you're at it.

Yeah right. Don't forget I witnessed the whole 'ghost dog of Portobello' incident.

OK, since you're so insistent, I'll get Mrs H to take a picture. I think the camera's broken though, that's the only thing.

ali · Post by **ali** » 02 Feb 2007, 22:17

Nelson Hatstand wrote:
ali wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote:What's your problem, you grumpy ***? You're just jealous of my youth and handsomeness and feel threatened by the fact that everyone in the Ormelie fancies me and you never get a look in anyway, and now i've got hair it's gonna get even worse!

So I don't see why I should post a picture just to satisfy your cynical noggin. Even if I had one. Which I don't.

Hair and dignity - that's two things I've got that you haven't.

...and I still say you're at it.
Yeah right. Don't forget I witnessed the whole 'ghost dog of Portobello' incident.

OK, since you're so insistent, I'll get Mrs H to take a picture. I think the camera's broken though, that's the only thing.

You said you wouldn't mention that. I'd had a couple of pints, right?

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 03 Feb 2007, 01:27

ali wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote:Yeah right. Don't forget I witnessed the whole 'ghost dog of Portobello' incident.
You said you wouldn't mention that. I'd had a couple of pints, right?

Oooh, Mr Footstool, do tell!!

ali · Post by **ali** » 03 Feb 2007, 10:15

Poppy wrote: Oooh, Mr Footstool, do tell!!

How much have you had to drink? Why are you talking like Charlotte Bronte.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 03 Feb 2007, 10:37

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 03 Feb 2007, 12:34

Dadaist wrote:

Ddi someone upset you Dada...scared smiley

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 03 Feb 2007, 13:20

I was in the 'Ormelie' last night, but was disappointed to find no trace of Nelson. However, there was a very hirsute man in "The Dalriada' - long lustrous locks to his shoulders and beard brushing his pecks. Do you think that may have been him?

ps
Ali, didn't see any ghostly animals on the way home, though we were looking out for them and had had a drink or twelve.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 03 Feb 2007, 13:40

ali wrote:
Poppy wrote: Oooh, Mr Footstool, do tell!!
How much have you had to drink? Why are you talking like Charlotte Bronte.

Only 3 Corn Exchange G&Ts from 8 til 12.

And if I'd been trying to be Lotte, I'd have written "pray do tell"!!

Anyway, stop trying to distract us from the ghostly doggie story!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 03 Feb 2007, 15:22

foxy wrote:
Ddi someone upset you Dada...scared smiley

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 05 Feb 2007, 15:08

gilo wrote:Nelson, the first thing Epycat referred to when describing you was your baldness. Imagine her confusion when she sees you next (When describing Ali she said "well he just looks kind of grumpy"!).

Oi! I told you that in confidence

Anyway, I quickly followed the 'grumpy' statement with 'but he's not really' - HONEST

. And you've neglected to tell Nelson all the other positive things I said about him...........

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Cure for baldness

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