Drugs

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 08 Sep 2004, 23:07

I have 3 kids who are all of a "Drug taking age," at least as far as I am led to believe, by the "reliably informed".

It doesn't seem 10 minutes ago that I heard my mum saying; the young ones know so much more than we did, dad never said much.

For many of us here we are now the parents of the know mores. How should we be tackling the potential problem?

In our house we favour open discussion but to be honest its from a more or less no personal experience basis. I am not against Drugs indeed I am pro Alcohol, which is exponentially more damaging.
It would be good to hear from the teenagers on this one. It would be equally good to hear from the 20 and 30 Year olds who have lived through the E generation.

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 09 Sep 2004, 10:42

Here at Rathbone House we were open with the kids, advising from a personal experience basis, covering both the highs and lows. Of the two Rathbonettes, one went on to 'do' and the other didn't, but at least they both told us about it.

Among the 'Friends of Rathbone' of those who chose not to discuss and/or share their experiences with their kids, some found that their kids went on to experiment and others didn't.

In other words, my immediate statistics suggest that it doesn't matter what approach you take as a parent, your kids will decide for themselves.

As for me, the 'experiment' lasted for a few years until I discovered the delights of a nice single malt.

mr magnolia · Post by **mr magnolia** » 09 Sep 2004, 13:19

My dim memories of childhood and teenage angst suggest that information and openness from the older generation are the keys to gaining an understanding by the younger. I think one 'problem' is that an aspect that worries parents is the potential that exists for loss of (self)control while experimenting / learning, and in many ways that same loss of control is exactly the attraction on offer.

Does that make any sense? Need some more caffeine, obviously...

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 09 Sep 2004, 13:49

Good topic, Porty. I've been thinking about it on and off all morning.

Openness is generally the favoured approach in our family, but like you I know others where that's worked and others where it hasn't. Openness was not a policy in other half's family; other half never touched recreational drugs aside from alcohol, but her brother did. Nor was it a policy in my family; I haven't done it (but not for any moral reasons, just personal ones) but one or two brothers have. Having said that, as one of the E generation, there are very few friends who haven't. I still feel that Mr M is right though and openness and information are the best things we can give.

I recently had some training on drugs (no, not on drugs) and we did an exercise called the circle of harmfulness where we had a list of eight, or maybe ten, drugs, and we had to divide a circle up into sections according to which we thought were the most harmful. Everybody put heroin down as the worst thing. Most people put cigarettes and alcohol as the least damaging. Since that is the opposite, at least physiologically speaking, of the truth, maybe we all need much more education. Alcohol does the most damage to your body and arguably has the biggest social and economic consequences...yet everyone thinks it's ok because it's legal. And actually a lot of the kids know better than we do about this stuff.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 09 Sep 2004, 23:55

Yeah, it's a toughie. What I really think is that there should be a range of safe and legal drugs that people can enjoy. Ironically, the drugs that are legal (alcohol, cigarettes), are extremely dangerous and less dangerous drugs are illegal. The law is an ass in this respect and no wonder that our kids are confused. Hardly a week goes past without some prominent person (usually a recently-retired Chief Constable) declaring that cannabis should be legalised. Anyone read Ben Elton's High Society? Interesitng idea, that all drugs should be legalised and theefore taken out of the hands of criminals altogether. Heroin kills because it is spiked or because it is of unknown strength.

Anyone who knows anything about drugs knows that it is a nonsense to suggest that smoking dope inevitably leads to taking more dangerous drugs. However, I know from personal experience that because cannabis is illegal you have to use a dealer to buy it. And of course your friendly local dealer often has other goodies to tempt you with. I had great times with drugs and I had terrible times too. In the end I agree, it's best to be as open and honest as possible and hope that your kids are smart enough to make the right decisions, whatever they may be.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 10 Sep 2004, 12:25

It seems that the few who have responded are more or less of the same view. You all make excellent points. I know at least 2 of the kids have used dope. I don't like it but at least I know and trust them.. Personally, if one of them came home and announced that they had taken up smoking I would be distraught and disappointed.

Ive not read the Ben Elton Book but I agree with the point of view.

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 10 Sep 2004, 19:05

Personally speaking, I knew very little or nothing about drugs when I was a teenager. I didn't know anybody who took them, I didn't know where you could get them or indeed what to do with them! I knew they were out there obviously but we weren't told about them at school. Therefore I lived in ignorant bliss until I was old enough and wise enough to deal with the problem when it came along. I think kids are too informed these days about sex and drugs thereby arousing their curiosity and their natural inclination to experiment with things they've heard about. We don't have a drugs policy with our two. I would hope that neither of them will experiment but I can't say that they haven't or won't. Like most things with teenagers we cross our fingers!

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 10 Sep 2004, 21:38

As someone who doesn't have any children as yet, I can only speak from a perspective of what I think I would do, but I would go for the openness route.

Due to the Internet and more information being widely available, today's generation are better informed of the realities of drugs - in fact I've learnt a few things myself recently - and it seems to me they are far in advance of the Government in this! As in all things, governments tend to downplay the intelligence of the electorate and I believe people, on a whole, would be better off making their own informed choices on this.

Check-out_Chick · Post by **Check-out_Chick** » 16 Sep 2004, 13:36

Me beeing a teenager i thought id give you my views....Im not saying im an angel ..anything but as im sure my mum will agree but i think parents should talk with their kids more about drugs ..i personally dont do them but i do knew sum people who have/are addicted to drugs mainly dope/pills ..and they have said their parents are ok with this .....?!

I get kids younger than me trying to sell drugs to me ...does any one else think this is at all wrong...i also know sum people who take drugs with their parents and thier parents buy it for them

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 16 Sep 2004, 17:20

Well don't be bringing them back to stay the night!

Check-out_Chick · Post by **Check-out_Chick** » 17 Sep 2004, 12:31

I wont! the only people i bring back to stay are my close friends .....i men can u really see Mari,lynz,stu n Paul doing that ??...i think not