Dog Lovers

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 11 Oct 2004, 19:00

DOG lovers come forth and see if you agree with me when I say I am going to email the Edinburgh Evening News and ask them to donate half a page every month to the Edinburgh Cat and Dog Home so that they can display photos of dogs and cats that need good homes.
Animals ALWAYS get a home if they have their photo in the newspaper.
I would like it if it was a joint effort ,so feel free and email them if you wish or better still get along to the home and adopt or if you cant do that ...sponsor something and lets see if Portobello On Line can make a difference

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 11 Oct 2004, 19:36

I would help if it was a campaign to help children with Leukemia but not for homeless Cats and Dogs. Cats and Dogs don't figure on my scale of priorities.

Having said that, if you want to get the Evening News to help? Suggest a phone or text in poll for the animal that you would most like housed. Minimum call 25p, you know the script. Old people and young kids would be suckers for the scam.

If there is a chance of some revenue for the News then they will be on the case. They could even get the recent winner of the EN Favourite Lollipop Person Poll to present the new owner with the winning animal.

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 11 Oct 2004, 19:44

thanks for the reply porty,and I do get your point I think ........how come you look like a CAT with a LIME hat on.Anyway you donate to other things if you wish,but if animals are as low on your prioity list as you make out I'd change your logo

dccairns · Post by **dccairns** » 11 Oct 2004, 22:17

Porty is not allowed to change his doo-dah; it represents him perfectly.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 12 Oct 2004, 00:18

Actually in retrospect, I think I have screwed up with the Evening News revenue generation idea. My original focus was on housing the animals, surely it would better, commercially speaking, to focus on terminating or "putting down" the beggars.

The Evening News highlight the aniimals in question and fix an amnesty, a certain number of calls (25000?) that must be made by Evening News Readers in order to prevent execution of the chosen beast. Ideally in the first couple of weeks readers would just fail to meet the target and 1 dog and 1 cat would be put down. Ironically, if the deadline had been extended by only a few minutes then enough calls would have been recieved.

"Come on Readers, don't delay if you want to save, Rover/tootsie/whatever get dialling NOW."

(The only possible problem with this scheme is when the journalists/photographers get too lazy to visit the C&D Home and some poor neighbour of their's finds that their pet is up for execution)

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 12 Oct 2004, 06:12

This all stems from having stepped in that doggy doo a couple of weeks ago, doesn't it?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 12 Oct 2004, 08:39

Nah, its endemic. But thanks for the reminder.

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 12 Oct 2004, 15:43

Porty did you know you can buy antiseptic hand wash which you use without water, would have helped you a few weeks back..

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 12 Oct 2004, 17:27

Sandra wrote:Porty did you know you can buy antiseptic hand wash which you use without water, would have helped you a few weeks back..

Great suggestion Sandra but I don't think it would help him wash away the mental scars that remain from his experience!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 12 Oct 2004, 22:24

Porty - when you're reincarnated (as you surely will be) I hope you come back as an unwanted collie

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 13 Oct 2004, 16:09

well said epykat although maybe you missed out the unwanted collie with MANGE now that would be what he deserves.I think his logo is too handsome no-one as pessimistic in life can be that cute

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 Oct 2004, 18:20

prombabe wrote:.I think his logo is too handsome no-one as pessimistic in life can be that cute

I believe you mean realistic.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 Oct 2004, 20:13

prombabe wrote: MANGE

WTF?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 17 Oct 2004, 01:36

Ive had a few drinks. It has been and is, very difficult for me to feel affection for pets, although I would never wish them harm. When I was about 9 I had the awful experience of liviing next door to a gorgeous springer spaniel that took its own life. More than 30 years later I can barely bring myself to relate the story.

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 17 Oct 2004, 12:31

Porty, sounds like you were definitely a bit 'tired and emotional' last night

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 17 Oct 2004, 12:42

Porty wrote: When I was about 9 I had the awful experience of liviing next door to a gorgeous springer spaniel that took its own life. More than 30 years later I can barely bring myself to relate the story.

Oh go on tell us! I'm dying to know how it managed to get the rope over the branch by itself...........

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 17 Oct 2004, 17:45

Our next door neighbours where I grew up had a Jack Russell. It was rescued by them and so named, of course, "Lucky". Lucky had a happy life, yapping at postwomen and neighbours. He lived happily in that same house for nearly ten years, enjoying the freedom of their reasonably-sized back garden every day, several times a day.

One day, Lucky wanted to go out as usual into the back garden. Mr Carson opened the door, Lucky ran out, full speed, smack into a wall that had always been there, and died.

You couldn't make it up.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 17 Oct 2004, 18:52

Ok Epykat I will go for it.

The dog, who will remain nameless in case the owner posts here, was a very intelligent animal and just like some very intelligent people had a capacity or predilection for madness, as it turned out, suicide.

Like most dogs this one loved going for a walk and detested being fettered by a leash. As he was an intelligent animal, the owner rarely felt the need to use a leash when walking the dog. On the fateful day the dog pitched up for his usual walk with the leash in its mouth and refused to cross the threshold until the owner had put its lead on. The owner thought this was a bit strange but was used to a slight mad streak so carried on. Shortly after beginning the walk the dog went missing in the Figgate Park, the owner called its name over and over and grew increasingly concerned. After about half an hour he encountered the dog hanging from a spike in a fence. He had presumably jumped up hooking himself by the neck.

Whilst the above would perhaps suggest suicide it is hardly conclusive, however, later the same day the owners found a plastic bottle of painkillers that had been gnawed and destroyed, most of the contents had been eaten. The dog had tried to overdose.

A truly tragic tail.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 17 Oct 2004, 19:22

Lying hound!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 17 Oct 2004, 20:26

I don't know if its fair to call him a liar, I think he was just really mixed up.

The final irony was that a few days after the tragedy the owner was clearing out the dog's basket and under the cushion the dog slept on, he discovered a copy of Goodbye to Love by the Carpenters with a carefully placed paw print.

As you will no doubt know, just a few years later, Karen Carpenter also died in tragic circumstances.

"There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for"

Goodbye to love, indeed.

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 17 Oct 2004, 21:31

What are you on??

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 18 Oct 2004, 22:55

Epykat wrote:What are you on??

It reads like he is on something you can't buy in Boots - that's for sure!

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 19 Oct 2004, 07:03

Porty,
One of my beloved cats just read that moving story and in a fit of depression, threw itself from my upper window and never took the option of landing on its feet, plunging instead, head first into an old broken plastic green ball filled with concrete and ending her short life.... I am now emotionaly distressed, and in true North American fashion are going to sue you for a few million to destress me. My lawyers have been informed. to add insult to injury my baby cat looked just like your avatar, which I know you placed just to mock me and distress me further.....and which will cost you another 2 million....

PS... THANKS!!! Woooohoooo..............Im RICH!!!!!!

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 19 Oct 2004, 20:03

Now Porty that was a sad story

and i can see how you have been affected by that all your life

My mother had a similar experience with her poodle ,except it swallowed a whole packet of rennies we were kept up all night by the constant burping and farting.Fortunately it didnt die but it did have a lovely breath......for a while anyway

prombabe · Post by **prombabe** » 25 Oct 2004, 19:00

EXCUSE ME...........but can we get back on to the subject in hand here please RE THE CAT AND DOG HOME AND EMAILING THE EVENING NEWS thank you. For someone who hates animals and is not willing to help them in any way LIME HATTED CAT seems to have a lot to say.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 25 Oct 2004, 20:34

I am mortified. I purposely didn't give the dog's name but I just got a PM from a lurker who was the owner of the dog in my story. Somehow or other she managed to work out that it was her dog?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 25 Oct 2004, 21:24

And now you've really upset the poor woman by dredging up a terrible memory that she's buried in her subconscious for years and years. I don't know how you can live with yourself!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Oct 2004, 10:05

Actually its worked out not to bad. Turns out she has had numerous pets that have all met similar endings so she cannot recall exactly which one it was? Phew.....

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 26 Oct 2004, 11:54

Doh! Just got the Avatar ,thanks Prombabe! "lime hatted cat" = Sour Puss..........that explains why you won't post your photies Porty, I mean it couldn't be that you don't know how ,could it?

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 26 Oct 2004, 18:09

Porty wrote:Turns out she has had numerous pets that have all met similar endings so she cannot recall exactly which one it was? Phew.....

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Oct 2004, 18:55

ecm wrote:
Porty wrote:Turns out she has had numerous pets that have all met similar endings so she cannot recall exactly which one it was? Phew.....

Want to hear the one about the Labrador that plumbed himself into the exhaust of the owners car?

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 26 Oct 2004, 19:08

Porty wrote:Want to hear the one about the Labrador that plumbed himself into the exhaust of the owners car?

No, I don't - that sounds disgusting!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Oct 2004, 19:12

He had intended to slit his wrists until he discovered that he didn't have any.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 26 Oct 2004, 19:15

Oh, I see - the dog was going to gas himself!
I thought you meant...........never mind.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 26 Oct 2004, 19:16

Maybe we could find a suitable home for LIME HATTED CAT if we wrote to the Evening News?

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Dog Lovers

Dog Lovers

reincarnation of porty

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You will be hearing from my lawyers PORTY