Headlines you are unlikely to see in the Portobello Reporter

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 00:59

"SIZZLERS HOSTS ISAPCDUM BIRTHDAY BASH"

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2005, 07:02

"SUE ALLEN APOLOGISES FOR THE TIDES INN"

Gedge · Post by **Gedge** » 13 May 2005, 08:44

"SCOTMID HAS BREAD AFTER 4PM"

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 13 May 2005, 09:51

"LOCAL RESIDENTS WELCOME NEW DEVELOPMENT WITH ENTHUSIASM"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 10:18

"WEB ADMINISTRATOR BUYS ROUND"

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 13 May 2005, 10:36

'MORTGAGE ADVISOR WAIVES COMMISSION'

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 11:42

"BREAST FEEDING ACTIVIST WINS KARAOKE CONTEST"

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 13 May 2005, 12:24

"GAIL SMITTEN WITH LOCAL FORUM MODERATOR"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 12:30

"HEADLINE FANTASIST INSTITUTIONALISED"

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 13 May 2005, 12:47

"PORTY HOSTS WOMEN'S BEACH VOLLEYBALL FINAL"

Post by **wangi** » 13 May 2005, 13:11

"PORTY HOSTS BRASILIAN WOMEN'S BEACH VOLLEYBALL FINAL"

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2005, 13:28

"LOCAL FORUM WINS SPELLING AND GRAMMAR PRIZE"

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 13 May 2005, 13:48

" NEW BATH STREET BUILDING SCOOPS ARCHITECTURAL AWARDS"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 13:54

"LOCAL DELI OWNER BECOMES STAND UP COMEDIAN"

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 13 May 2005, 13:57

Andydckent CAMPAIGNS FOR HIGHER SPEED BUMPS

xxxx · Post by **xxxx** » 13 May 2005, 15:22

ONLINE POLL SAYS 'PORTOBELLO BETTER THAN IT USED TO BE'

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 May 2005, 16:31

PORTY TO RUN IN EDINBURGH MARATHON......

.....TO RAISE MONEY FOR DOG & CAT HOME

Post by **wangi** » 13 May 2005, 16:35

"CAPSLOCK BANNED IN EDINBURGH'S SEASIDE"

(or is that "ON"?)

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 13 May 2005, 17:21

"JOE FINDLAY ADMITS, HAGGIS IS BAD FOR YOU"

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 13 May 2005, 18:04

"POP INN WINS PUB OF YEAR CONTEST"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 14 May 2005, 11:14

"TRAFFIC LIGHTS TO WORK 24/7"

DG · Post by DG » 14 May 2005, 11:47

'FLUFFY DOG OWNER USES A POOP SCOOP AT THE TOP OF MARLBOROUGH STREET'

DG

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 14 May 2005, 17:23

'POL HAS TEETOTAL NIGHT OUT'

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 14 May 2005, 18:31

"POSTMAN DELIVERS PARCEL!"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 15 May 2005, 10:41

"POLICE FIRST ON THE SCENE"

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 18 May 2005, 11:42

"ONION FOUND IN SCOTMID"

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 20 May 2005, 22:41

"Greggs staff find change for a fiver"

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 26 May 2005, 22:38

"NEW SUPERSTORE OPENS IN PORTY!"

Gemini · Post by **Gemini** » 27 May 2005, 00:30

Epykat wrote:"NEW SUPERSTORE OPENS IN PORTY!"

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 22 Jul 2005, 08:07

Portobello Bell Chimes all Nite.
Residents delighted.

Man Put's Kebab Box In Bin.

Police Arrive Before Fracas.

Nudist Colony Opens In Joppa.

Public House Give Free Drink.
(a thank you for the ridiculous prices).

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 22 Jul 2005, 08:14

Porty Local Joins AC/DC as Lead Guitarist.

Local rock god wanna-be Zargonian said to be chuffed:

"I was just playing on my geeeeetar the other night and there was a knock at the door. There standing at the door was a representative from Atlantic"

Atlantic representative:
"Yeah, we was cruising down Portobello when we heard this wailing, almost painfull noise. We thought we gotta investigate this.
True enough, it was coming from a cheapo Geetar."

Atlantic representative2:
"We thought it better to have him in a studio, rather than a lunatic ayslum.
Or worse still at the end of a rope after the lynch mob got him"

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 22 Jul 2005, 17:09

"Pub ban for all Krakatoke machines"

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Headlines you are unlikely to see in the Portobello Reporter

Headlines you are unlikely to see in the Portobello Reporter

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