Tangential Thread

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:56

Neil Lennon wants to move into management one day.
Neil Lennon's agent says the Celtic captain would be interested in the vacant manager's post at Leicester.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 10:28

well this thread was an overnight success

Ed · Post by Ed » 27 Jan 2006, 11:17

Dont quite get what you mean? Assuming the Leicester job is a "Manage By Numbers" then I dont think he is suitable

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 27 Jan 2006, 11:37

Apparently you can cook salmon in a dishwasher.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 11:48

What about that Accountant that got stabbed at Murrayfield the other day?

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 27 Jan 2006, 11:53

When I was about 12, there was an episode of Panorama on the telly about Warsaw. Thing is, I misheard it, and thought it was about Walsall.

I found it remarkable that the town of Walsall could have a completely different political regime, different standard of living, and be so much goddam colder than the rest of England.

I was about 16 when I realised my mistake.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 12:44

That reminds me of the "elephant" incident on Blue Peter.

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 27 Jan 2006, 13:52

I don't know what kind of noise a rabbit makes. I'm scared Baby Priest will ask, and I won't have an answer. In Watership Down, they all speak like humans, but I'm sure that can't be the case in real life.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 27 Jan 2006, 14:00

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edit - sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 15:01

I have a work night out tonight. The second of the year and its still January.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 27 Jan 2006, 15:07

Jackson Priest wrote:I don't know what kind of noise a rabbit makes. I'm scared Baby Priest will ask, and I won't have an answer. In Watership Down, they all speak like humans, but I'm sure that can't be the case in real life.

Wait till she asks you..."what's a baby rabbit called?"

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 15:22

My favourite episode of Sapphire and Steel was the one et in a railway station with ghosts of WWI soldiers and a black abyss

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 27 Jan 2006, 15:31

There is a Philip K Dick book where the protagonist is stuck inside his flat because everything (lights, fridge, tv) works on a coin-meter, and he hasn't got any change to open his front door.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 15:58

Easter is early this year and there is a huge food and beverage conference in Barcelona on mar 7 to 10th.

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 16:11

Dog toys are always colourful, even though dogs can see only see in greyscale.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 27 Jan 2006, 16:22

The word racecar is a palindrome

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 16:55

I think its probably for the best, that they will never repeat Glen Michael's Cavalcade on ITV!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 27 Jan 2006, 17:01

I caught measles from Brian Logan.

I caught chicken pox from Richard Petrie.

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 27 Jan 2006, 17:18

No more ringos.

No more wotsits.

No more nik-naks.

Just stupid rubbish Walkers with their stupid rubbish crisps and stupid rubbish adverts.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 27 Jan 2006, 17:28

Jackson Priest wrote:No more ringos.

No more wotsits.

No more nik-naks.

Just stupid rubbish Walkers with their stupid rubbish crisps and stupid rubbish adverts.

That's Burroughs isn't it - "No More Hitlers, No More Stalins" ?

Post by **wangi** » 27 Jan 2006, 17:33

All the chemicals in the human body have a combined value of approximately Â£4.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 27 Jan 2006, 17:37

wangi wrote:All the chemicals in the human body have a combined value of approximately Â£4.

that is, the ones which occur naturally!

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 18:18

In most households, the toilet seat is the cleanest surface, with the least bacteria. But if you keep your toothbrush within 25 feet of a flushing toilet, it will contain traces of fecal bacteria. WEIRD!!

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 27 Jan 2006, 19:19

That reminds me of one of Porty's stories where a few toothbrushes had quite a lot of fecal bacteria on them. I still have nightmares over it

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 27 Jan 2006, 19:21

teddygirl wrote:That reminds me of one of Porty's stories where a few toothbrushes had quite a lot of fecal bacteria on them. I still have nightmares over it

To be [reluctantly

] fair to Portly, I think it was Ed who told that story? Could do Search, but too gross a tale to read again

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 27 Jan 2006, 19:27

Poppy it is etched on my brain and I can assure you it was that man Porty who told it..............................off goes Poppy searching away now to see if I'm right.A different type of search for you tonight, no curtains or dustbins involved

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 27 Jan 2006, 19:36

Yuk, you're right, TG! I knew P was not actually involved but forgot he'd reported it. Sort of thing those rugger folk get up to which is why I thought of Ed!!

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 20:09

I would like to know who says "One Moment Please" on all these automated services, its the same recorded voice on every one!!

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 27 Jan 2006, 20:10

How can you blow hot air, and cold air out of the same lungs???

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 28 Jan 2006, 01:02

My grandparents christened my dad Matthew and then proceeded to call him Basil for his whole life (pronounced Bay-sil not Bah-sil). None of his friends believed that his real name was Matthew

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 28 Jan 2006, 02:25

Today I have been mostly enjoying a nice glass of Glenmorangie.....Port Wood finish.

Skeely · Post by **Skeely** » 28 Jan 2006, 16:39

CatzVP wrote:How can you blow hot air, and cold air out of the same lungs??? :shock:

My mother claims to have witnessed someone drink a half pint of lager followed by a half of Guinness, then throw them up into 2 separate glasses.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 28 Jan 2006, 18:36

If you are going to make petrol bombs, don't forget to buy tampons and washing-up liquid.

1. Tampons make the perfect fuse for a molotov cocktail - they absorb large quantities of petrol without being corroded by it, and can be wrapped in cellophane and attached to the neck of the bottle. When the time comes, a cigarette lighter will easily burn through the cling wrap and ignite the tampon - wrapping them has the advantage of the petrol not evaporating.

2. Washing up liquid contains phosphates which make the blast bigger when the bottle explodes, and also add to viscosity so that you have a more napalm-like burning liquid.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 30 Jan 2006, 14:37

Hey Porty! Got a new motor?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 30 Jan 2006, 17:00

I recently learned that extra weight on the tummy, even just 4 or 5 Lbs creates extra pressure and exacerbates the production of acid.