Scotmid-What's it like?

ali · Post by **ali** » 06 Oct 2005, 12:51

bouncie_kiwi wrote:
Marya wrote:What's Pilrig got to do with it Bouncie
oh yeah i forgot to explain that part i got a transfer to pilrig scotmid because i moved down there and have just realised that as much as i moaned about the grunting snorting old people of porty, they were so much more tolerable than the stuck up "ew, whehs yoh owgaaaanic section, or is THAT it theeehhh?, ew theehs nathingk i should have went up to tess-cows i do saaay"

yeah well we're a convience store, not a organic market!!!! THEYRE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
i had a woman ask me where the "ohh-gaanic chok-lits are and dew yew have laaahge ohh-gaanic dowe egbeeets coffey PET?"
and the ones who are so obsessed with treating their 'precious' bodies like temples or something, then come up to the fag counter and get 40 fags?!?! i mean if theyre so concerned about the oh-so-bad-and-contaminating-evil toxins on the bog roll theyre wiping their *** with (ref to organic bog roll ), then why would they put it in their lungs!?? maybe they think their special precious *** is more important than their vital organs....
anyhoo im on about another scotmid here so i will shut up now!!
cheerie bye peoples!

excellent rant - 10/10

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 07 Oct 2005, 13:13

ali wrote: excellent rant - 10/10

A compliment indeed, from Reverend Rant himself.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 07 Oct 2005, 13:42

Porty wrote:
ali wrote: excellent rant - 10/10
A compliment indeed, from Reverend Rant himself.

Oh, yes. Indeed!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 08 Oct 2005, 11:44

Can you not just get them to send you to Porty for at least one day a month Kiwi? We're going to miss an insider's point of view

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 14 Oct 2005, 23:04

Scotmid....what's it like.... not like Marks & Spencer... but then we'd be lost without it

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 11 Jan 2006, 23:41

Scotmid was at its worst tonight, huge queues only one till open and the poor girl run ragged but still smiling even when she had to put a call through to supervisor who took age to come to her till. Surely the management know by now one till at peak time is crap.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 13 Jan 2006, 10:55

Sandra wrote:......Surely the management know by now one till at peak time is crap.

They have Management!

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 07 Jul 2006, 22:29

im back in porty-mid! well actually they got rid of most of their management - every deputy manager was made redundant or alowed to take a step down and become a 'supervisor' . so as is stands, there is a manager, and two supervisors - one of whom cannot work the tills or communicate normally with the Homo Sapien population in the slightest, and the other who just appears to have been thrown in at the deep end and left to sink or swim. sigh....at least i get to hide behind the Deli where nobody can bother me and i can obsess over oh-my-god-i-cant-cant-contaminate-the-cheese-with-meat-bacteria-or-the-meat-with-cheese-bacteria-argh-bacteria-everywhere and i can compulsively go through 52 pairs of latex gloves in 8 hours (got in trouble for that one - apparently its bordering on obsessive) anyway it is not a BAD department to work in i suppose(apart from the meat) and this customer the other day:

me: (away to get cheese and ham from back chill-gone 2 mins)
Her: (on my return) *snort* oi!!!! ave been waitin here fur aboot ten minnitsh likesh um ah no gonnae git shum shervish ere eh!??
Me: Yes Sorry i was just getting some cheese
Her: How dae yae need tae git the cheeshe likesh!??
Me:well ... because we were running out
Her: aye weel yae shoodny be leevin here likesh shood yae!????
me: (peed off at this point) Well i apologise madam, but we dont have that special teleporting cheese which manages to make its way all the way from the back chill, cut itself up, wrap itself, and label itself and them present itself in the fridge ready for you to buy - its a bummer but we need to get STAFF to do it(!)
Her: (looking highly confused and minorly catatonic for about 30 seconds) aye, weel, ken, yae shood git sumwun elsh tae git it then shoodint yae!?!?
Me: (looking around and seeing - typically - no other staff whatsoever in the surounding vicinity and even if there was i highly doubt they would go and fetch cheese for me considering they all have their own work to do)cant keep my mouth shut anymore:
Well, since there was nobody else around i did TRY and divide myself in two by meiosis, like the amoebas do but unfortunately i dont have the same cytoplasmic membrane so unfortunately i failed - but when i do master the act of binary fission and the likes, i will let you know.

s h i t i need to keep my moth shut

Post by **wangi** » 07 Jul 2006, 22:36

Nice one.

Can I just get a recent peeve of mine of my chest... The 66cl bottles of beer - 3 for Â£5, well everyone except for Peroni... Even though it's got the bloody big sticker below it. Nuts.

Recon I should bring it up in a particularly troublesome manner?

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 07 Jul 2006, 22:49

i have to agree that annoys me so much - usually its lazy and/or dumb staff who lack the intellegence to actually read the sign, see whats actually <B>on</b> promotion and put the right things on the bloody shelf. They like to do it with the 4 packs of grolsh as well, when all <i>other</i> 4 packs are on '4 for $10' the minions still stuff the grolsh out anyway.

i will kick up a mini tantrum tomorrow i start at eleven.

see some of you tomorrow probably although we most likely wont even realise!

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 07 Jul 2006, 22:57

Scotmid deli-counter - now there's an oxymoron. I'll be along tomorrow at 11 am prompt to demand precisely two ounces of smiley chopped ham and pork.

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:09

ok i think i may be having a blonde moment - but i still dont quite see the oxymoron.... or is it kind of like saying, the 5 star hotel in Niddrie?

im lost....too much caffeine and not enough sleep

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:13

bouncie_kiwi wrote:i have to agree that p***s me off so much - usually its lazy and/or dumb staff who lack the intelegance to actually read the sign, see whats actually on promotion and put the right things on the *** shelf -!

BK you are undoubtedly on the money with your diagnosis of how COOP staff merchandise their promotional goods, its sloppy. However I firmly believe the better organised supermarkets deliberatley merchandise similar products that are not currently "on offer" on the promotion shelves. Morrisons being the worst perpetrartors closely followed by Sainsburys. For example 150mg potato crisps are 2 for 1 but directly above the promo card that informs the customer of the great deal the 225g crisps, which on casual glance seem identical, are displayed. 140% of the 150g price and not on a 2 for 1 deal. The lazy and unobservant customer buys two bigger and full price packs instead of participating in the dealIronically the COOP achieve the same or similar result deploying dunb or is that employing?

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:21

i think its someones attempt at sloppy psychology - once the customer gets to the checkout after standing in a long-scotmid-queue, they finally find out their stuff is a pound ore expensive than expected. now if they dont notice, scotmid are a pound up on unfair sales - OR is it the customers 'fault' for not reading the sign? theres a very thin line between 'false advertisement', 'oh, the customer didnt look at the sign properly so its all their fault' and misleading information so then the customer feels stupid and guilty for asking the sighing checkout operator if they can change their goods, followed by glares of the other customers in the queue while the poor unsuspecting customer who only really wanted a few cheaper beers has to choose between spending extra than they planned or irritation customers - because of course theres never going to be an extra member of staff around to get it for them.

ITS A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooh, in my contract it says if i die while working, i am entitled to 10% off my funeral!! but only as long as its with the coop funeral service

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:26

bouncie_kiwi wrote: is it the customers 'fault' for not reading the sign?

you nailed it in one

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:51

bouncie_kiwi wrote:i start at eleven

may come and spladoosh you along with Bob

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 07 Jul 2006, 23:52

whoops what have i let myself in for??? ::scared::

Jamesie · Post by **Jamesie** » 08 Jul 2006, 10:02

wangi wrote: Nice one.

Can I just get a recent peeve of mine of my chest... The 66cl bottles of beer - 3 for Â£5, well everyone except for Peroni... Even though it's got the *** big sticker below it. Nuts.

Recon I should bring it up in a particularly troublesome manner?

Probably a good thing - heading to a wedding this evening and, at a slight loose end today, that kind of Peroni offer would perhaps cast doubt on my ability to get there.

Well done Scotmid!

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 08 Jul 2006, 12:57

bouncie_kiwi wrote:ooh, in my contract it says if i die while working, i am entitled to 20% off my funeral!! but only as long as its with the coop funeral service

Probably the funeral you'd want wouldn't be included in that deal.

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 08 Jul 2006, 19:44

Welcome back Bouncy Kiwi

. Since I'm STILL on holiday next week (

) I might venture into Scotmid and spladoosh you (I have inside info as to your ID

)

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 08 Jul 2006, 19:45

bouncie_kiwi wrote:ooh, in my contract it says if i die while working, i am entitled to 20% off my funeral!! but only as long as its with the coop funeral service

Do you have to finish your shift first to qualify?

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 08 Jul 2006, 21:44

bouncie_kiwi did anyone spladoosh you this morning??

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 08 Jul 2006, 21:50

Managed to get an OAP thinking I was the manager in Scotmid today (the Foot of Leith Walk one). I was wearing a shirt AND a tie on a Saturday which seemed to confuse him. Had to tell him I didn't have a clue where the cheese was as I never shop in Scotmid - I was just using their photo-me booth (which is another story - seems you can't wear glasses on a passport photo now).

so looks like all Scotmid customers are mad - not just the ones in Porty.

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 08 Jul 2006, 21:52

Novastar wrote:Managed to get an OAP thinking I was the manager in Scotmid today (the Foot of Leith Walk one). I was wearing a shirt AND a tie on a Saturday which seemed to confuse him. Had to tell him I didn't have a clue where the cheese was as I never shop in Scotmid - I was just using their photo-me booth (which is another story - seems you can't wear glasses on a passport photo now).

so looks like all Scotmid customers are mad - not just the ones in Porty.

Why can you not wear specs?

Scotmid is a great East of Scotland tradition.

my mum finds it fascinating when she comes through from the west.

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 10 Jul 2006, 20:40

bouncie_kiwi did anyone spladoosh you this morning??

im not sure if i was spladooshed...although saturday mornings happenings were mildly clouded by the presence of alcohol by-products floating around in my blood

followed by an accidental overdose of cheap manky scotmid red rooster stuff which sent me into a manic hyperactive cleaning and cheese cutting spree.

which again got me in trouble for using a whole packet of plastic gloves within 8 hours. which works out at approximately a new pair of gloves every eight minutes

oops.

now im going to get shouted at cos only one wilshire ham appeared this morning so we ran out by about 3pm as it has a third off

ah day off tuesday yippee!!!

bouncie_kiwi wrote:
ooh, apparently if i die while working, i am entitled to 10% off my funeral!! but only as long as its with the coop funeral service

Do you have to finish your shift first to qualify?

well, i asked a supervisor, and he said if i finish my shift then apparently im not technically at work, so they wont give me my 10% off

Welcome back Bouncy Kiwi . Since I'm STILL on holiday next week ( ) I might venture into Scotmid and spladoosh you (I have inside info as to your ID )

oh im the one who looks about 16 (im actuly 20 lol), female with postbox red colored hair (although u normally cant see because of the hat thing)

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 10 Jul 2006, 20:43

novastar - youre lucky he didnt start shouting at you about chopped pork or why there is no 7p noodles, that happens to me a lot and its very scary.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 11 Jul 2006, 09:29

bouncie_kiwi wrote:
the numpty person in charge today decided it would be a good idea to elave 2 people on tills at 6pm. thats one on the fag counter and one on the normal tills. seriously could not run a p-up in a brewery.

I have long been in awe of Scotmid's till staffing decisions, how do they get it wrong so often?

bouncie_kiwi wrote:lthough the manager should be back from egypt soon i think :

Christ the Co-Op aren't going into Pyramid selling are they? Nothing would surprise me, it was huge plastic Gazebos this time last year.

BK what it the least favourite task that a member of Scotmid can be given to do? I have observed several duties; the front till, the general tills, the fresh bread stocking, the general stocking, the deli counter staffing, the baskets at the till collecting and so on. I find it impossible to detect which task is most reviled as everyone looks equally despondent doing anything.

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 11 Jul 2006, 13:35

Sandra wrote: Why can you not wear specs?

They obscure your facial features alledgedly. New ruling in respect to 9/11 and the usual reasons given.

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 11 Jul 2006, 14:00

Novastar wrote:
Sandra wrote: Why can you not wear specs?
They obscure your facial features alledgedly. New ruling in respect to 9/11 and the usual reasons given.

Nova, a brown bag would suit you better.
Specially when ur stalking assistants at Scotmid.

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 11 Jul 2006, 14:02

bouncie_kiwi wrote:ooh, novastar - you could actually BE a manager in scotmid!!!!! all you have to do is collect five crisp packets!! in special circumstances they will accept tokens from coco-pops boxes though.

I know ya, I may also spladoosh you.....

It would be easy for you to recognise Nova, the rustling of his paper bag on his head would give it away!

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 12 Jul 2006, 21:26

hmm i dont mind the tills - but im never on them! they put me on the deli counter which isnt much fun as its so lonely!!! well, unless i grow a nice living colony of bacteria on some of the cheese i can talk to, because they are usually very interesting!

ah the joys of conversation with single-celled organisms! almost the same as a conversation with the average scotmid employee!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 12 Jul 2006, 23:15

bouncie_kiwi wrote:ah the joys of conversation with single-celled organisms! almost the same as a conversation with the average scotmid employee!

Is that a sort of veiled compliment to the customers?

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 12 Jul 2006, 23:20

ignore this its being awkward

bouncie_kiwi · Post by **bouncie_kiwi** » 20 Jul 2006, 11:36

i got shouted at by a (rather burberry-clad) customer for asking him to 'please DONT squeeze all the freshly baked rolls with your grubby staphylococcus-ridden hands (ok i didnt exactly say that!!!!) other people have to eat them and that is just not very hygeinic.
well....you would have thought id have asked him for a kidney!!!!!!!!!
'ave no goat bacteria ya bam, haw man fokkan nae bacteria on me likesh fok off, n that, ken, PURE', before scratching his balls.

no, really, PLEASE dont touch the rolls now - and yes you DO have bacteria on your hands EVERYONE does whether they wash them 50 times or not.

he just snorted a few times and wandered away scratching his arse

it was a rather amusing sight for random passers-by - a ned and a scotmid assistant having a full blown argument about bacterial contamination in the rolls.

maybe i should cut down on the caffeine.[/b]

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 20 Jul 2006, 11:53

Oh dear, please tell me that the roll incident didn't happen today

I'm not long home with two baguettes from that very counter. I usually buy the ready wrapped ones but today I just wanted two, so bought the loose ones. (probably for the last time, I'll stick to the wrapped ones from now on)

I have to say I never see any of these exciting moments when I am in,it's always the same,quiet boring people like myself just mosieing round minding their own business .

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Scotmid-What's it like?

ranting......again