Hmm did you not realise the management team purposely spread the bread all over the shelf on purpose!?
Apparently Scotmid is not 'allowed' to employ anymore staff. For the forseeable future. Not good, considering the rate of turnover in SM.
The tills have been wreaking havoc also. Its all part of their master plan...
Anyway there has been copious hilarity due to the gravely moronic idiosyncracies of a selection of recent customers to the store, some of which are described below:
Saturday, customer 1: Man enters store with carrier bag. Man is very intoxicated. Man says to cashier at kiosk "KIN YAE PUHHHHLEESH LOOK EFTIR MAAH BAG FURMY SO YAYS DEEHHH HINK AHM CHORIN" proceeding to drop his bag over the kiosk. Cashier accepts this proposal. Customer then proceeds to attempt to 'chore' some random objects, and is quickly clocked by the security guard who promptly asks him to leave. Customer grunts, snarfs, drools a little, grunts: "AH NEED TAE GIT MA BACK, SNARF" (behind the kiosk remember) then decides to walk straight out the store, leaving us rather confused.
After some circular pacing, customer takes off jacket, turns it inside out and replaces it - back to front, swivels the baseball cap 180 degree and 'pretends to be someone else' returns to the store, to where he was originally trying to "chore" and proceeds with the same actions. Repeat as above. This time, instead of replacing the jacket, he raids through the bin.
Pulls out a Greggs bag.
Opens it...
And progresses in removing a halfeaten....obect from the bag. And begins to pick bits off it, and eating it.
Eventually leaves store without bag, after staff try to return it to him "its not his apprently, he chored it all"
Customer goes home.
The End.
Customer 2: Teenager attempts to come to my till with alcoholic beverage. Teenager is naturally asked for identification. Teenager stared vacantly for....around 8 seconds before information is processed. "EH, AHM PURE ATE-TEEN N THAT LIKESH."
Pure eighteen? really? Still need proof of ID mate. "haw....heh...ah pure left it at school in ma locker" (dribbles from corner of mouth)
Enough said.
Customer 3: Elderly woman is buying goods. Cashier scans items and inserts them into carrier bag for customer. Customer waits until cashier has packed all 4 bags. Customer then empties EVERY bag out onto the checkout again, and proceeds in packing them again, while complaining that there is nobody to help her pack her bags.
Explanation?
Customer 4: Male attempts to steal bottle of Baileys. Baileys is stuffed down jacket. Security guard stops male, asking for the bottle of Baileys, he just witnessed him take on the security footage.
Customer: "haw for fackshake man, dih yae ken whoat itsh like huvvin tae walk aboot wi this tumour and ivry-wun hinkin ahm chorin????"
Security: Aww realy? funny how it just magically grew when you walked down the booze isle eh? hand it over.
There were more, but after todays shift, i dont have the mental capacity to remember the details
(i am so happy this scotmid malarky is temporary: working with bacteria, they dont answer back....on saying that, the bacteria in SM do
)
