- People who obsessively wash their car (ie more than once a week)
People who obsess over tiny scratches and blemishes in the paintwork of their stupid cars
People who expect me to be impressed by their cars
People who buy accessories for their cars
Pet hates
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
Pet hates
Don't mind me - this is just therapy, but feel free to join in if you wish.
Re: Pet hates
Week? WEEK? For real?Bob Jefferson wrote:People who obsessively wash their car (ie more than once a week)
That sort of nonsense in measured in months at best, half years in reality.
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
- SoupDragon
- Posts: 2201
- Joined: 03 Oct 2006, 11:02
- magbagpuss
- Posts: 270
- Joined: 08 Mar 2004, 21:34
- Location: Porty High Street / Heaven !
OK here's a cracker . I have worked in our( John Lewis's )shoe department . people come in and ask for a shoe in a certain size . You get it , appear with the box to get asked " Is that a 6 ? "No you muppet i bought a 3 , what size do you think it is ????
Love working with the public but .................You get asked the most bizzare things.Honest truth , I have been in the Jewellery dept serving , cust interrupts to ask ... "Where's my car parked " never seen them before in my life .
Am I physic ?? Noones told me.
Have millions , will think of best and keep you posted !!!
Love working with the public but .................You get asked the most bizzare things.Honest truth , I have been in the Jewellery dept serving , cust interrupts to ask ... "Where's my car parked " never seen them before in my life .
Have millions , will think of best and keep you posted !!!
whatever, am i bovvered
The way my husband is happy to run down the fuel in the car's tank and will only fill up when the red flashing light comes on.
People who stand that bit too close to you.
Being told 'there's no such thing as tone deaf'.
Women who rate themselves as being 'very good' when eating a rice cake for lunch (and who then 'borrow' a chip from my plate).
People who are never first to the bar and who always leave before their round.
Men (it's never women) who think farting is highly entertaining.
Being called 'Scotch' instead of Scottish.
Camping.
People who stand that bit too close to you.
Being told 'there's no such thing as tone deaf'.
Women who rate themselves as being 'very good' when eating a rice cake for lunch (and who then 'borrow' a chip from my plate).
People who are never first to the bar and who always leave before their round.
Men (it's never women) who think farting is highly entertaining.
Being called 'Scotch' instead of Scottish.
Camping.
www.porty.org.uk
Can we just have a 'husband' thread?
Mine fills the dishwasher but doesn't put it on.
There's NEVER any water in the iron when I come to use it.
He never changes the toilet roll when it's finished.
He puts empty biscuit packets back in the biscuit tin instead of in the bucket.
He likes to recycle cans and carboard - but only ever recycles them as far as the side of the sink, they only make it to the recycling boxes if I put them there.
He puts stuff under the bed - like dumbells that he used once in 1985, books, magazines, bills......
I am expected to worship the veg he bring back from the allotment as if it is some holy kind of veg and not just a couple of leeks that seem to have taken two years to grow.
Mmmmm, I think maybe he's annoying me today

Mine fills the dishwasher but doesn't put it on.
There's NEVER any water in the iron when I come to use it.
He never changes the toilet roll when it's finished.
He puts empty biscuit packets back in the biscuit tin instead of in the bucket.
He likes to recycle cans and carboard - but only ever recycles them as far as the side of the sink, they only make it to the recycling boxes if I put them there.
He puts stuff under the bed - like dumbells that he used once in 1985, books, magazines, bills......
I am expected to worship the veg he bring back from the allotment as if it is some holy kind of veg and not just a couple of leeks that seem to have taken two years to grow.
Mmmmm, I think maybe he's annoying me today
Enough of your nonsense - get back to the Play Pen!
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
- Children's menus
Parents who appear to be oblivious to their children's bad behaviour
Drivers who don't indicate
Drivers who have an irrational hatred of cyclists, i.e. most of them
People who drop litter, particularly if it's from their cars
Having to iron my own trousers, just because I once offered some constructive criticism on the subject
Pensioners who skip the queue at the bus stop
Pensioners who tell you their life story on the bus
Pensioners who put their bag on the empty seat next to them
Pensioners who glare at you when you've had a major operation and are legitimately sitting in the 'infirm' seats
Pensioners who glare at teenagers even when the teenagers haven't done anything yet
Pensioners who say 'I'm 80 (70, 65, 102.....) you know'
Pensioners who tell you their life story on the bus
Pensioners who put their bag on the empty seat next to them
Pensioners who glare at you when you've had a major operation and are legitimately sitting in the 'infirm' seats
Pensioners who glare at teenagers even when the teenagers haven't done anything yet
Pensioners who say 'I'm 80 (70, 65, 102.....) you know'
Enough of your nonsense - get back to the Play Pen!
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... Voicetress ?Bob Jefferson wrote:I'm prepared to hate voicetrees but, to be fair, perhaps I should know what they are first.
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
- Bob Jefferson
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: 11 Dec 2004, 21:16
- Location: Planet Porty
- Contact:
Bravo Bob!
Impressionists.
Impersonators
Disabled or ethnic "comedians" who base their acts on themselves.
The postcode lottery
I tend to convulse when I see or hear hardeep kohl especially when he is a guest on question time in Scotland. His sudden adoption of Scottish accent, slang and vernacular makes me want to force one of Mr epykats cabbages. In one or more of Mr kohls holes..
Bands that mime in live gigs.
People that don't even acknowledge you holding a door open for them.
Beautiful women that don't even give you a first glance.
Impressionists.
Impersonators
Disabled or ethnic "comedians" who base their acts on themselves.
The postcode lottery
I tend to convulse when I see or hear hardeep kohl especially when he is a guest on question time in Scotland. His sudden adoption of Scottish accent, slang and vernacular makes me want to force one of Mr epykats cabbages. In one or more of Mr kohls holes..
Bands that mime in live gigs.
People that don't even acknowledge you holding a door open for them.
Beautiful women that don't even give you a first glance.
- SoupDragon
- Posts: 2201
- Joined: 03 Oct 2006, 11:02
- Stray NO.666
- Posts: 93
- Joined: 18 Jul 2007, 11:26
- Location: Porty on the prom
- Contact:
People who have new born babies and want a full grown staffie!
People who think because im young im stupid and refuse to listen to me!
People who dont chew in food adverts!
Flatmates who fall asleep on the sofa at 7 and snore!
The fact that when my phone is low on battery it lights up, beeps and vibrates....wasting the little battery thats left!

People who think because im young im stupid and refuse to listen to me!
People who dont chew in food adverts!
Flatmates who fall asleep on the sofa at 7 and snore!
The fact that when my phone is low on battery it lights up, beeps and vibrates....wasting the little battery thats left!
Im owned by 2 daft dogs
Dust
Fresh coriander on top of my curry
The number of pin numbers and passwords I have to remember
Queueing
Men picking their nose, especially in their cars: do they think they're invisible?
Dust
Having a conversation when nobody can remember what we were just talking about
The fact that I am the only person in my house who can work anything electrical like the washing machine, the hoover or the dishwasher
Not being able to get on the pc because of the new Sims 3
Huge speed bumps
Food shopping
Dust
Pigeons that flutter up when I walk past them
Shop workers that don't even apologise when they have done something wrong like leave on the security tag
Pneumatic drill outside my bedroom window at 7.30 this morning thanks to gas works
Eastenders
Dust
Fresh coriander on top of my curry
The number of pin numbers and passwords I have to remember
Queueing
Men picking their nose, especially in their cars: do they think they're invisible?
Dust
Having a conversation when nobody can remember what we were just talking about
The fact that I am the only person in my house who can work anything electrical like the washing machine, the hoover or the dishwasher
Not being able to get on the pc because of the new Sims 3
Huge speed bumps
Food shopping
Dust
Pigeons that flutter up when I walk past them
Shop workers that don't even apologise when they have done something wrong like leave on the security tag
Pneumatic drill outside my bedroom window at 7.30 this morning thanks to gas works
Eastenders
Dust
AhemBob Jefferson wrote:It's dreich in Breich
There is no wit in Whitburn
A smell of death in Polbeth
Murder in East Calder
West Lothian towns all look the same
Grey, grim, dismal
Like my verse, only worse
In a word, abysmal
It's very colourful here today!!!
Linlithgow Marches!!! Numerous floats and bands!
And lots of very happy, friendly people!!!
Same on Saturday as it's the gala day!!
Then when it's all over it returns to a lovely shopping, touristy place!
I still love Joppa/ Porty and it will always be a special place for me!
But I live in Linlithgow, West Lothian and I have to stick up for it!!!
Why be scared????
-People who feel that they HAVE TO SHOUT whilst using a mobile phone (especially on a bus).
-Kids who have music blaring out of their mobile phones... whilst on a bus.
-Cyclists who feel that red lights do not apply to them.
-Cyclists who go up the pavement at a red light and then back onto the road.
-The noise of crisp packets.
-Kids who have music blaring out of their mobile phones... whilst on a bus.
-Cyclists who feel that red lights do not apply to them.
-Cyclists who go up the pavement at a red light and then back onto the road.
-The noise of crisp packets.